Will Your Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Yes, a marriage can survive after a spouse cheats.

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One of the hardest issues faced by a victim of infidelity is…will my marriage survive infidelity. Whether or not your marriage survives infidelity is dependent on many things.

Trust has to be restored and the cheater must be willing to cooperate and give you, the injured spouse, whatever you need to restore that trust. There can be no contact with the Other Man/Other Woman. There has to be a willingness to disclose all information regarding the infidelity/affair.

The cheater must be fully remorseful for their actions.

Marriages can survive infidelity under certain circumstances.


Below is a list of 4 situations which I believe make it easier for a marriage to survive infidelity.


1 . One Night Stand:

If the infidelity/affair was a one-time occurrence and your spouse is genuinely remorseful, your marriage can survive the infidelity. I don’t make excuses for anyone who is unfaithful to their marriage. We are all flawed human beings and being such, we make mistakes.

Being flawed human beings who make mistakes, we are deserving of second chances. Working together as a couple to fix the problem could mean ending up with a stronger bond and better marriage than you had before the infidelity.

2. Midlife Crisis:

A person going through a midlife crisis becomes destructive to themselves and those they love. They don’t call it a “crisis” for nothing. If your spouse goes through a midlife crisis and looks outside the marriage in an attempt to find answers to how they are feeling if you are able to forgive, your marriage can survive the infidelity.

3. Drugs or Alcohol:

Being under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not an excuse for bad behavior. But drugs and alcohol can influence certain people to do things they would not normally do. If your spouse engages in infidelity while under the influence of drugs or alcohol you should take into consideration whether it was your spouse driving the behavior or the drugs or alcohol.

Only if it is a one time occurrence. If your spouse has a history of drug and alcohol abuse along with infidelity, you don’t want to enable their behavior by continually forgiving bad behavior.

One of the keys to your marriage surviving infidelity is forgiveness. Forgiveness is earned and your spouse has to be willing to work at earning that forgiveness and restoring the trust you have lost in him/her.

4. Empathy for the Victims Feelings:

If the spouse who cheated has genuine empathy for the pain they caused their spouse, there is a good chance a marriage will survive. When the victim spouse becomes upset the cheater should be willing to answer questions, offer comfort and not attempt to shut down the other spouse and their feelings.

If the cheater has true empathy they will be patient and loving during the victims period of recovery and while trust is being rebuilt. 


How Does a Spouse Earn Forgiveness After Infidelity?


1. They ask for it, sincerely and hold-heartedly desire forgiveness for the pain they have caused

2. They show kindness and concern for the well-being of the injured spouse.

3. They are willing to admit their mistake and discuss the "why, where and when" details. 

4. The cheater is willing to keep talking, no matter how long it takes, to ease the pain of the victim spoues.

5. They immediately stop the affair. 

Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity isn't an easy road to travel. The cheater needs to be on board with whatever his/her victim needs from them to rebuilt the lost trust and fully commit to the marriage again.