Why Men Pull Away

Unhappy man.

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Do you feel as though your man is growing distant? Does he seem cold, closed off, or uninterested in you? There are many different causes behind why men pull away, and if you're noticing that your man is shutting you out, these six key reasons can help clue you in as to why he's suddenly growing apart from you.

1. He's Emotionally Unavailable

If you notice that your man has a hard time opening up to you, is uncomfortable showing his emotions in public, and never wants to appear weak or vulnerable around you, it's clear that he's unavailable emotionally.

Men who are emotionally unavailable can end up pulling away from their partner and growing distant because they are unwilling or unable to be totally forthright and honest. If your man never lets his guard down around you and never wants to divulge anything personal, he's going to shut you out because that's how he handles personal relationships.  

2. He's Distracted

Men often pull away because they're emotionally distracted or preoccupied. For instance, if he's dealing with a friend issue, stress at work, or other personal problems, he's not going to be able to devote his full time and attention to you. When your man has other matters on his mind and different issues to tackle, he's likely going to keep you at a distance in order to prevent feeling overwhelmed or overextended. When he's under a lot of pressure or dealing with disappointment or loss, being more closed-off can be a way for him to manage his stress before he's able to put his attention back on you.

3. He Wants to Be With Someone Else (Or Already Is)

If your guy forms a crush on someone else, is involved in an emotional affair, or is cheating on you, it's not uncommon to notice him growing distant and cold. A man who is vague about his whereabouts, is suddenly demanding his privacy, and seems to be texting or messaging another person can often be devoting his attention elsewhere while simultaneously putting up a barrier between the two of you.

In these situations, it's important to trust your gut and your heart when trying to determine if your man is losing interest in you or has moved on to someone else. If something seems off, the very act of shutting you out can help to clue you in that he's not the man you thought he was. 

4. He Doesn't Want to Commit

Has your man ever been described as a player? While you may think that your relationship with one another is progressing at a good a pace, a man may pull away when he senses that things between the two of you are getting too serious. If he's interested in more of a fling than a committed, long-term relationship, he may put up a wall in order to stall or stop whatever's progressing between the two of you. At the same time, if he's feeling a lot of pressure from you to commit or your relationship is moving at a rapid pace, he may also choose to act in a distant manner in order to slow things down and take the time he needs to figure out what he really wants going forward. 

5. He's Constantly Arguing With You

Conflict is a part of any happy and healthy relationship, but if you're having argument after argument with your guy and can't see eye to eye, a common consequence is that he'll choose to shut you out.

When he's feeling frequently put down, rejected, or demeaned, it's not uncommon for him to act in a cold and distant way because he doesn't want to engage with you at the risk of having another argument. Rather than fighting all the time, it's important that you and your man work on your listening and communication skills in order to handle your arguments in a constructive way that brings you closer together—rather than farther apart. 

6. He Senses That You're Pulling Away

If you think your man is pulling away from you, it's imperative that you take a moment to reflect on your own actions and behavior. After being completely honest with yourself, you can see if you're the one who's actually growing distant and shutting him out, and he's simply reacting to your behavior. If he's feeling unappreciated, unimportant to you, or taken for granted, he may pull away from you because he's not getting what he needs from you as a partner.

Before you focus on your man's behavior, it's important to look at yourself as well and see if you're being the best partner you can be. In effect, what's causing him to shut you out may be his way of dealing with feelings of neglect or rejection in your relationship.