Why I Can't Get Over My Ex

Sad woman.
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Getting over your ex is never easy. You may be trying to keep yourself from thinking about him or her and want to fully move on, but you just can't seem to get past your breakup. And while there's no magic remedy for getting over this person, there are five key reasons why you just can't get over your ex—and what you can do about it.

1. You Still Follow Your Ex on Social Media 

When you choose to follow your ex on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social networks, you're making it that much harder to move on from him or her.

While your ex isn't physically present, by reading his or her posts and seeing his or her pictures, you're keeping this person in your life. And rather than giving your ex this kind of power and ability to pop up uninvited into your world, it's truly in your best interest to unfollow or even unfriend him or her. Not only will this help you to disengage from this person and move on, it can be especially helpful if you're guilty of cyberstalking your ex and constantly checking his or her posts. 

2. You Keep Reminders of Your Ex

Another clear reason why you can't move on from your ex is that your world is still filled with reminders of this person. Whether you wear his old shirt to bed each night, still use her favorite hand lotion to help with your dry skin, or have pictures of the two of you taped to your fridge, an important step in the moving-on process is to remove the knickknacks, keepsakes, and other items that remind you of this person.

And while it's up to you if you want to throw these things away or simply put them in the back of your closet, you should be honest with yourself and actively get rid of the items that are keeping you in the past and preventing you from moving on and starting fresh. 

3. Your Breakup Feels Unresolved

If you can't get over your ex, an additional explanation is that your breakup feels unresolved, unsettled, or unfinished.

For example, you may wish that the the two of you were still together, that you could've said certain things to him or her, or that you could've acted differently in those final moments, and these nagging feelings can make it that much more difficult to move on and find closure. However, in order to get over this person, you have to make your peace with these lingering emotions and consciously decide to leave the past in the past. Rather that fixating on what's been left unresolved between you and your ex, you should accept the reality of the situation and focus your attention on moving forward. 

4. You Haven't Given Yourself Enough Time

Another key reason why you can't get over your ex is that you haven't given yourself enough time to do so. There's no secret formula to calculate the amount of time it takes to truly get over someone, and while you may feel pressured from friends and family to move on and start dating again, you should give yourself the time you need. It's important to understand that healing after a breakup and moving on from your ex won't happen overnight, and you shouldn't be hard on yourself if you're still thinking about your ex months later. And while you'll have both good days and bad, don't be afraid to reach out for support from those around you or even a trained professional if you feel as though you're not making any progress.

 

5. You Haven't Met Someone Else 

An additional reason why you're still not over your ex is that you haven't met someone else to take his or her place in your mind and in your heart. You may be thinking about your ex because you don't have anyone else to focus your attention on or to fantasize about, and in many cases, it's not your ex you miss, but the idea of having someone by your side who cares about you, understands you, and is there for you. In order to truly get over your ex, it's critical to remember that you will meet someone else who can fill this role in your life—and likely surpass it.