Why Don't Lesbians Have Sex with Men If They like Dildos?

If you're wondering why lesbians who enjoy dildos and strap-on harnesses don't like having sex with men, the answer is quite simple. It's because a woman is wearing the strap-on.

There's a lot of confusion and misconceptions about this issue so I am going to clear it up for you.

Sexual attraction is about more than the physical act of sex, it's about the person you're engaging in sex with.

The Strap-on Is all About Penetration

Let’s face it. Penetration feels good. At least to those who enjoy penetration. Just because a woman wants to experience penetration does not mean she wants to have sex with a man. Actually, that is one of the biggest sexual myths about lesbians. Another myth is that the female partner who wears a dildo wants to “be” a man. Again, not true.

Think about it this way. You're a heterosexual man. Either a man or a woman could perform oral sex on you. Although both might feel good, I bet there is one you would prefer to have sex with.

Some lesbian couples incorporate strap-ons into their lovemaking and sexual activity, and some don't. Lesbians of all kinds of persuasions enjoy the penetration of a strap-on, and so do many straight women.

According to the August 2015 Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey entitled "Lesbian Sex: Your 15 Favorite Ways To Have It," 58.8 percent of the 13,000 gay women surveyed said that they enjoyed strap-on harness play.

One lesbian had this to say about the using a strap-on:

"I like girls" doesn't equate to "I don't like penetration." Being penetrated is one part of a wide variety of possible sex acts, and not an exclusively male one.

 Another gay woman summed up her reason for enjoying a strap-on with her partner quite eloquently:

I'm a lesbian and this is of course completely subjective to the person. I personally enjoy using a strap-on with my girlfriend because it feels nice, I don't like the way the thing looks, but I am not looking to get visual excitement from it. The thing about the harness is that it makes me feel closer to my girlfriend as it goes from "it" being inside me, to "it" being inside her.

 Another gay female had this to say about using a harness that looks like the male organ:

Most of the lesbians I know are indifferent about penises. It’s not the penis, but the combination of so many more aspects that make up a man, that does not sexually or emotionally attract lesbians to males.

Sexual Behavior Versus Sexual Orientation

From my experience, sexuality and sexual attraction are about so much more than the pieces and parts that touch one another when we make out or make love. The reality is that lesbians take part in all the usual “sex things,” and a lot more, that are associated with lesbian stereotypes. Some lesbian couples incorporate strap-ons into their lovemaking, and some lesbians don't. Lesbians of all kinds of persuasions enjoy the penetration of a strap-on, and the reality is that many straight women enjoy a strap-on as well. 

In the end, I can't underscore enough that sexual behavior is not the same as sexual orientation.