Why Dating Apps and Sites Aren’t Working for You

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You’ve likely heard success stories or may even know someone who met his or her significant other on a dating app or website. But what do you do when these apps and sites aren’t working for you? Here are the eight key reasons why this kind of dating isn’t going your way, and more importantly, what you can do to turn things around.

1. You’re not on enough apps and sites. When it comes to finding that special someone, it’s important to remember that dating is a numbers game.

And rather than only joining a few dating apps and sites and therefore only being available to a few people, you should put the odds in your favor by signing up for more so that you can increase the number of people in your dating pool.

2. You’re not active. Along these lines, if you want dating apps and sites to work for you, then you have to commit to continually signing in to the app or site, sometimes every day, in order to see and be seen by the greatest number of potential dates. In a word, you have to make the apps and sites a priority if you want them to work in your favor and help you to meet that special person. In many cases, the more active you are, the more likely you are to find someone.

3. Your profile is sparse. Another reason why you may not be having much luck in the digital dating department is that your dating profile is empty, sparse and/or unfinished. And it’s important to keep in mind that a scant profile will yield scant results, since an incomplete description or missing pictures will make you appear as though you’re not taking dating very seriously, aren’t truly interested in meeting someone special and that you don’t have time or energy to make dating, or a potential partner, a priority.

4. Your profile is too full. On the flip side, if you’re wondering why dating apps and sites aren't working for you, another reason may be that your profile is way too long. And rather than coming off as well-cultured and interesting, you simply look overbearing and long-winded. Remember, no one wants to read paragraph after paragraph about the entire history of your life, so opting for a few key sentences is the key toward having a profile that will capture someone’s attention.

 

5. You’re not initiating conversations. An additional reason why this kind of dating may not be working for you is that you’re not taking the initiative to message people on the app or site. And while you may think that you should be approached first, sending the initial message actually shows someone just how confident and assertive you are—both of which are appealing qualities.

6. Your conversations are impersonal. And speaking of digital conversations, another reason that you may not be having any luck on the dating apps and sites is that you’re not personalizing the messages you’re sending. Specifically, you should try to directly reference something that was mentioned in his or her profile rather than writing a generic message to someone. For example, asking a person how he or she became interested in rock climbing is far more likely to get a response than sending a message that simply says, “What’s up?”

7. Your parameters aren’t giving you enough options. Another reason that you may not be finding any success is that you’re not giving yourself enough options on the dating apps and sites. For example, while you may be interested in meeting someone who’s within five miles from you and falls into a certain age range, there may only be a few people who meet this description.

However, if you widen your parameters a bit, you’ll likely have far more options from which to choose. Besides, would you really be against driving a little farther in order to meet someone of interest?

8. You don’t really want it to work. If you’re wondering why these dating apps and sites aren’t working for you, the reason may simply be your attitude. In fact, if you’re not yet over your ex, aren’t looking for a real relationship and/or are being pressured by others to sign up rather than it being your own choice, you’re not likely to find success since you’re not at the right place in your life. However, when you’re truly serious and interested in finding someone special and approach this kind of dating with a positive outlook, you’re far more likely to yield positive results going forward.