Help! Why Am I Still Single?

Frustrated woman.
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Are you trying to figure out why you're still single? Being without a plus one can feel like a huge downer, and when you're trying your best to meet someone special, it's not uncommon to feel confused, annoyed, or upset that it hasn't happened yet. But during these moments of frustration, disappointment, and self-doubt, it's important to take a closer look at the five key reasons why you're still single—and what you can do about it.

1. You're Not Truly Putting Yourself Out There

If you're wondering why you're still single, one explanation is that you're not doing all that you can to meet someone. When you're being proactive and are constantly putting yourself in situations where you can meet more people, you're making it that much more likely that you'll find someone. However, if you don't want to join dating apps, aren't willing to get out of your comfort zone, and are staring at your phone whenever you're out rather than making yourself approachable, then you're simply shutting down possible opportunities to meet someone of interest. Since Mr. or Miss Right isn't going to come knocking on your door, the right move is to put yourself out there in new ways.

2. Your Priorities Are Unrealistic

Another reason why you're still single has to do with your list of non-negotiables and dealbreakers. While it's important to have standards and not settle for anything less than you deserve, it's also important for you to not have unrealistic expectations that are preventing you from meeting someone special.

For example, if you're only willing to date someone who's over a certain height, shares your taste in music, makes a certain amount of money, and who loves baseball, you're likely limiting yourself and missing out on potentially wonderful and interesting people who don't necessarily check off every box on your list.

It may surprise you to learn that dating someone who isn't your typical type can be the right type of decision.

3. You're Still Pining After Someone Else

An additional reason why you're still single has to do with where your heart is. If you're still wishing you were with your ex or have lingering feelings for someone who'll never be able to give you what you want, you're preventing yourself from finding the real relationship for which you're searching. When you're lusting or longing for another person, this will overshadow your attempts at finding someone new since you're still invested in someone else. When you're ready to let go and move on once and for all, you'll be in the right frame of mind to find your mate. 

4. You Have a Bad Attitude

While you may be used to thinking that "dating sucks," this kind of negative outlook is actually preventing you from meeting someone of interest. When you approach dating with the mindset that it's not going to work out for you, this will likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy by affecting your mood and behavior when you're on an actual date. Rather than being a Debbie Downer, you should do your best to keep a positive attitude and approach dating in a more carefree and upbeat way.

Is every date going to be amazing? No. But if you believe that you'll have an amazing date one day that'll lead to the relationship you want, then you're one step closer toward finding your happy ending.

5. You're Afraid of Commitment

If you're wondering why you're still single, another reason may have to do with your willingness and readiness to commit. While you may say that you want to have a serious relationship, it's possible that you're sabotaging your chances at finding one. For instance, you may be choosing to date people who are unavailable or unattainable, or you may tend to keep potential partners at arm's length because you're afraid of getting hurt. Now's the time to look back at your own dating history to see if you're picking partners who can't give you what you want or who you chose to keep at a distance.

Relationships involve risks, and when you're ready to be vulnerable and fully commit to someone, you'll be ready to put your single days behind you.