Who Should Be Paying on a Same Sex Date?

Photo (c) Michael Illuchine

Question: Who Should Be Paying on a Same Sex Date?

In many ways, GLBT teens have it a lot harder than straight teens when it comes to dating. It can be more challenging to meet potential partners, you might have to hide a relationship from your parents and friends, and going out publicly could expose you to homophobic reactions. Plus, it can be really confusing for gay teens to figure out if they are on a date or just hanging out, since many people have same sex friends who they don't have any feelings for.

That being said there are also some benefits and dealing with the issue of who should be paying on a same sex date is one of them!


Who Should Pay on a Same Sex Date?

A gay teen writes to the forum:

"OK so me and my friends were talking about this the other day and we're not sure what to really think. If gay couples go on a date, who pays for the bill? I think it depends on age and the role in each relationship. Also I think a good idea would be to switch it up a bit. That's what me and my first BF tried doing..."

Some Options for GLBT Teens

One of the nice things about dating as a gay teen is that there really are set rules! Here are some options you can consider.

  • Take Turns. One person pays one time, the other the next.
  • Split the Bill. There is no shame in going Dutch. Plus, it's a great way to maintain equality.
  • The One Who Asks, Treats. Many gay teens use the rule that the person who asks someone out on a date is the one who should be paying.

    Benefits to Same Sex Dating

    If you are dating someone of the same sex, you don't have to play by old fashioned gender rules that say a guy has to be the one to ask a girl out, pay for everything. When two guys, or two girls go out, they have a lot more freedom than their straight peers. Because same sex relationships are new to a lot of people, there are fewer family and societal expectations to live up to.

    So when it comes to paying for a date, do what you and your partner feel most comfortable with and don't worry about what you think you are "supposed" to do.