Who You Need on Your Divorce Team for Support

Have you thought about who will be on your "divorce team?"

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During divorce, we all need to surround ourselves with people who can be helpful during every step of the divorce process. There will be a need for friends to vent to, a counselor to give guidance, a divorce attorney to protect your legal rights and, based on your specific situation, many others.

4 People You’ll Definitely Want for Support on Your Divorce Team

Here's who you will want and maybe even need on your divorce team. If it’s possible you should have a list of people you want on your team before the divorce process even begins.

Friends and Family

You’ll need friends and family who’ll be supportive of what is right for you and your family. Pick them carefully! Choose to confide in and seek support from friends and family who help you grieve the end of your marriage and focus on your future. Distance yourself from friends and family who encourage angry feelings or tell you to “take him for all you can get.” This is not the attitude you need to expose yourself to during a highly emotionally charged time in your life.

Surround yourself with those who offer you, love, help when you are in need help and take your best interest into account at all times. 

A Good Mediator

There are different types of mediators and, if you get lucky and can choose your own, you want one that fits your situation. Are you uncomfortable being in the same room with your spouse? Then, find a mediator who can negotiate your divorce settlement through mediation without the need for both spouses to be in the same room. 

A mediator is going to help you settle the most important aspects of your divorce. It’s imperative that you work with one you trust and have faith in to be fair to all concerned.

A Divorce Lawyer

You will want a divorce lawyer who is going to look at your divorce case from the big picture while giving you the legal advice you need to ensure you have weighed the pros and cons of every choice you make during your divorce.

You want a divorce lawyer who responds to your questions, can keep you knowledgeable about your rights based on your state's divorce laws and will advocate for you and your needs during your divorce. 

Counselor or Divorce Coach

Having someone on your divorce team to support your emotional transition can make a difference in how long you are stuck in negative emotions due to your divorce. Everyone goes through a transition after divorce. Navigating this transition involves working your way through feelings of shock, anger, grief, resistance to change, and commitment to a new post-divorce life. 

Unfortunately, I’ve seen people who are stuck in anger for decades after a divorce, and unable to move on and rebuild a productive life or find a new partner. Having a divorce team member that is licensed and trained to help you work through your negative emotions and toward healing is probably the most valuable asset you will have during divorce. 

Every divorce situation is different. Some people divorce after a short marriage with few assets to divide. Some divorce after decades of marriage with children to consider, major assets to divide and complicated issues to be dealt with. The more complicated your divorce, the more people you will need on your divorce team. 

Below are others you will want to consider adding to your divorce team if you own a business with your spouse, have great financial interests to consider or feel your needs are more complex than the average divorcing couple. 

  • Accountant
  • Financial advisor
  • Real estate agent
  • Mortgage broker
  • Estate planning attorney

Once your divorce attorney has become familiar with your case they will be able to help you determine whether or not you need to add those above to your divorce team. 

Going through a divorce is one of the top three stress-producing experiences you can go through. Surrounding yourself with the proper divorce team members will alleviate a large amount of stress and leave you to focus on taking care of yourself emotionally and physically.