When Someone Just Doesn't Like You

Not everyone will be your friend, and that's okay. Rob Blackburn/Getty Images

When you’re trying to make friends, you’ll probably come in contact with at least one person who just does not like you. From the moment they meet you, they won’t be receptive to becoming friends. It may be frustrating for you since you’ve never done anything personally to them, but reacting badly to the situation will only make you look desperate.

If someone who, for whatever reason, doesn’t like you no matter what you do, here’s some advice.

They Heard a Rumor About You

Gossip can make meeting new people difficult, especially when the things people hear are taken out of context or just plain false. A particularly bad rumor can prevent someone from getting to know you at all.

When you’re in the midst of a situation like this, it feels awful. You’re being judged for something you didn’t do and now, you reason, you’re losing a potential friendship because of it.

Try to deal with this situation by taking a look at it from the other person’s side. Who can blame them for holding you off? No one wants to invite more drama into their lives, and if they have heard that you’re trouble they’ll naturally just avoid you.

Rather than working extra hard to try to win them over, just be yourself. If you focus too much on befriending one particular person, it can make you look desperate. In time, they may see that the rumors about you were wrong. Or, they might continue to believe them, always looking for things that match the gossip they’ve heard.

Know that if someone chooses to believe something that is false about you, it is on them. Shake it off, forgive them for their foolishness, and move on by friending the people who deserve to have you in their life.

They’ve Only Seen You During a Bad Time

Let’s face it, we all do or say dumb things sometimes. This doesn’t mean we’re bad people, just that we have made some missteps. But when we make social mistakes in front of others, it can put them off wanting to get to know us further.

If you’ve made a faux paux or two, try and apologize to people, but don’t go overboard in trying to explain yourself. A simple, “Wow, I really messed up. Sorry you had to see that.” will go further than going on and on in an attempt to change their mind about you. Apologize and then be the best version of yourself that you can be.

They’re a Friend of a Friend

You’d think that your friend’s friends would also become your friends. But it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes people are happy with the friendships they have, and they aren’t interested in adding any more. If someone chooses not to be friends with you just because you’re new to the group or have one or two friends in common, don’t fault them for it. It’s their prerogative.

Don’t make the friend you share in common feel bad because the other person isn’t interested in doing things with you. Instead, be pleasant with them when you see them and go about your business.

They’ve Met You and They Just Don’t Like You

An even more difficult situation is when someone has actually met you and just doesn’t get your vibe. Every joke you make is taken the wrong way, every time you try to do something nice they find fault, and every attempt at bonding falls flat.

As much as it hurts, embrace the realization that not everyone is going to be your friend.

Don’t take it personally. As hard as it is to accept, there is nothing you can do about it, and what’s more, these types of situations happen to everyone. There are just some people you’re not going to click with, and it’s not anyone’s fault.

In friendship, it’s important to focus on the positives with people. If someone doesn’t want to be your friend, that’s okay. Don’t get mad at them because it’s their choice. Instead, put your time and attention into the people that are interested in hanging out with you.

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