What You Should Know Before Dating an Older Man

Older Man
Janie Airey/Cultura/Getty Images

Age is only a number, and if you're considering dating an older man, you may feel as though the age difference between the two of you doesn't matter in the slightest. Many people believe that you're only as old as you feel, and dating an older man can often mean that he's more mature, established in his career or worldly. However, before you find yourself falling for an older man, it's important to understand some age-old dating wisdom so that you don't end up getting hurt.

1. Having Kids May Not Be an Option

If you're thinking about dating an older man, one important fact to consider is that he may not want to have children with you. For instance, he may already have kids from a previous relationship or simply is past the point of wanting children at this stage in his life. If having your own children is something that's truly important to you and is one of your non-negotiables, then dating an older man may only lead to heartache down the road. If you're not on the same page regarding the possibility of children in your future, then your fairy tale romance may end in heartbreak. 

2. Understand His True Intentions Upfront

When it comes to dating an older man, it's also imperative to understand his intentions in general in terms of the type of relationship he's seeking at his age. There are some older men who aren't sure if they're interested or ready to get married or remarried at this juncture in their lives and are only searching for companionship.

If marriage is something that you truly desire and see for yourself, then an older man may not meet these needs. Further, some older men may be divorced and not looking to tie the knot ever again, and while there are younger men who also fall into this category, older men have their own set of age-related factors and reasons why marriage isn't something they'd like to do at this point.

3. You May Have Different Goals

If you're interested in dating an older man, you should recognize that you may have differing objectives and goals for the years ahead. An older man may be at the point where he's ready to take a step back from his career and spend time traveling the globe, while you're at the point of making your mark in your particular vocation. And if his goals are to spend less time at the office (and even retire in the not-so-distant future), this can directly conflict with your desire to spend even more time, energy, and focus on establishing yourself in your career. If your short and long-term goals don't align, you shouldn't line up to date this man.

4. Make Sure You Have Enough in Common

When you're considering dating an older man, it's also imperative to determine that the two of you have enough in common to sustain a meaningful and long-lasting relationship. Men who are much older may have far different experiences, world views and interests than you do. And while you and your partner certainly don't need to have everything in common, you should make sure that you're truly being yourself when you're together and aren't feigning interest or hiding your own thoughts, beliefs, and passions to try and make your connection work.


5. Recognize That You May Get Push-Back From Others

If you're dating an older man, you should know right off-the-bat that some people in your life won't be totally on board with your decision. For example, you may find it more challenging to introduce your older guy to your friends and family because of the age gap, and they may become judgmental or distant. However, in many cases, once your friends and family can spend some time with your older beau and see for themselves what you see in him, they'll likely be more supportive of you in your romantic endeavors. As in any relationship no matter the age difference, the most important thing is how the two of you feel about each other and that you treat one another with respect, kindness, compassion, and love.