What to Talk About With Your Boyfriend

How to Start a Conversation, and How to Keep the Conversation Going

teenage girl talking on cell phone lying on the grass
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So you're having trouble knowing what to talk about with your boyfriend. Don't worry—he's probably just as nervous about this whole thing as you are. If you follow these steps, you'll probably find that you've got nothing to worry about (and you might have some great conversations to boot).

Why Do You Want to Talk to Your Boyfriend, Anyway?

The first question you should ask yourself is, do you even want to talk to him?

People can be physically well-matched but intellectually bad for each other. If you don't feel a mental connection with your boyfriend, then don't force it. Admit to yourself that your relationship will always be less than fulfilling, and either appreciate it for the connections you do have or move on.

It's OK to Let the Conversation Drop

If you don't think that's the case, then you might not even have a problem. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to keep a conversation going all the time. Like Mia said to Vincent in Pulp Fiction: "That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the **** up for a minute and comfortably share a silence."

If you're feeling pressure to come up with topics around your boyfriend, then maybe you just need to take hold of his hand, look into his eyes and share the silence.

Give Each Other a Little Space

Or maybe you're too closely in contact with your boyfriend.

You don't have to talk multiple times per day; if you do, you'll run out of things to talk about pretty quickly. Take breaks from each other so that when you meet up again, you're excited to see each other and have lots of things to share. If you're on the phone and the conversation runs dry, don't be afraid to say your goodbyes and pick up the conversation on another day.​

Ideas for Kick Starting a Conversation with Your Boyfriend

Or maybe the problem is just that you and your boyfriend are just plain old shy, and you really do need some tips on how to get the conversation going. In that case, here are some ideas for finding things to talk about with your boyfriend:

  1. When you talk to each other for the first time in a while, catch up on everything that's happened to you since the last time you talked. Come prepared with a couple of interesting things that happened to you.
  2. Any time your boyfriend tells you about a future event in his life, make a mental note to ask him about it later. Don't wait for him to tell you how his hockey game, chemistry midterm or cousin's birthday party went—ask him about it yourself!
  3. If he ever says something that sounds interesting, don't let it hang. Ask him some follow-up questions to keep the conversation going.
  4. Same goes for if he says something unclear or confusing. One of the great things about relationships is the chance to learn from each other. Don't walk away confused—ask him questions so you really understand what he's saying.
  5. Buy the Art of Conversation Card Game and pick topics off of the cards to talk about.
  6. Go to a museum and compare your reactions to the exhibits.
  1. Chat about your favorite things—like your favorite cartoons, favorite words and favorite things to order at a Chinese restaurant. See what you've got in common and what you totally disagree on.
  2. Go to see a movie (or watch one at home) and have a discussion afterward about what you liked and didn't like about it.
  3. Buy a newspaper or magazine and read it together. Find some controversial articles and have a debate.
  4. Go to the park, the mall or another public place and people-watch. Make up stories about the people you see.