What to Do When They Don't Text You Back

Woman With Phone
  Edward Berthelot

Waiting for a text from someone you really like can feel like agony, as every minute you don't hear from this person can feel like hours. You may constantly be checking your phone to see if they've texted you, have your heart skip a beat every time your phone dings (only to find that it's someone else texting you and not him), and feel a deep pit in your stomach as your mind wanders about why they haven't texted you.

Are they not into you? Are you being ghosted? Are they with someone else? But before you go down the rabbit hole, these tips can help you figure out what to do when they don't text you back. 

1. Contact a Friend

If you need someone to vent to while you're waiting for a text, who better than a friend? Whether you text or talk on the phone, communicating with someone who knows you well and has your best interest at heart can help you deal with any confusion, frustration, or disappointment you may be feeling while you wait to hear from this person. Not only can this help to take your mind off the fact that they have not texted you back yet and remind you that life goes on without this person, but your friend will also likely be able to provide you with the support you need for whatever the outcome may be. 

2. Be Productive

Have you been meaning to organize your drawers, set up your new computer, or clean your bathroom?

There's no time like the present, especially as you're waiting to hear from someone you like. Instead of wasting time staring at a phone, you should utilize this time to improve your own life. There's no reason that waiting for them to text means that you should put your life on hold, so take this as an opportunity to make yourself useful and accomplish something you've been meaning to do.

3. Eliminate Worst Case Scenarios From Your Mind

When you're waiting for a text, it's important to stop running worst case scenarios in your head about why they've not texted you yet. If you start thinking that they don't like you, that you're not good enough, or that you're never going to have your happy ending, these negative thoughts will affect your mood and attitude. You're awesome whether you get a text or not, as your self-worth isn't related to your relationship status. It's imperative that you prevent yourself from going down a spiral where you catastrophize the lack of communication and turn it into something it's not. Besides, they may text you in just a few more minutes. And if they don't reach out again and decide to ghost you, it's their loss!

4. Go Out

Since life goes on as you wait for a text, why not do something fun outside of your house? By going out to dinner with your friends, hitting up a spinning class, or trying out a new juice place down the block, you're doing something enjoyable that you want to do. Not only will this help provide a distraction if you so need, but this will also help you recognize that you have many things going on in your life that don't involve this person.

Since you can't make someone like you, you should put yourself first and treat yourself to the activities you enjoy whether you're waiting to hear from him or her.

5. Reach Out

Yes, you can text them. There's no rule that says you have to wait for the other person to text you. If you want to invite them to a party, do it. If you found a funny meme you think they'd like, send it to them. If you want to send a goodnight text, go for it. However, it's important that you keep some perspective in mind. If you send them 25 texts in a row, your number will likely be blocked. By being respectful of their time, as you'd want someone to do for you if the situation were reversed, you can always reach out in a kind and considerate manner to see if you hear back. And if you don't, it's time to move on to someone whose texts will be worth waiting for in every way.