What to Do If You Have No Friends

When You Don't Have a Single Friend

Woman looking out of window
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Having no friends doesn't mean you're weird or antisocial, it simply means you're in a bad place right now. The good news is that you can get out of it! (Yes, you can.) First, know that you aren't the only one that has found themselves without friends. It happens more than you think. Having no friends can happen when your life changes, when you move, or when you go through something that no one else gets. It can happen to any one of us at any time, even people who are surrounded by a large social circle.

You might be someone that struggles to make friends always, and this may cause you to have no friends from time to time. Or perhaps you're someone that has suddenly found yourself alone and can't really figure out why. 

Common Reasons Why People Might Lack Friends

There could be any number of reasons you are without friends. Perhaps you pulled away from people because you were going through a rough time. Not everyone is comfortable reaching out to people when they are struggling. Or maybe you felt that a friend betrayed you, and it prompted you to get some distance with all your friends.

Another reason could be that you've chosen friends that aren't right for you. Maybe they continually exclude you or are never around when you want to connect. You may have spent time in the past with people who really aren't that great for you because you didn't have a lot of friends, to begin with.

You Need to Get in the Right Mindset Before You Begin to Make Friends

Many people have experienced a time without friends at some point, and as much it hurts, it's important not to get down about it. Remember, this is a temporary situation. Making friends takes effort, and like anything else, the more you do it the easier it will be.

Before you even begin to make friends, however, be sure that you are mentally ready for it. If there are issues you are struggling with that you need professional help to conquer, work on that first.

Also, examine the real reasons why you don't have friends, but avoid negative self-talk (things like "I'm a loser" or "No one likes me"). Instead, take a long look at your life and get realistic about the choices you make. Ask yourself these questions:

  • At work, do I consistently turn people down when they ask if I want to have a drink or go to lunch? (There are many benefits to having work friends and you might be missing opportunities to get to know coworkers who could become friends.)
  • Do I pace a friendship properly or do I try to make every friendship a best friend type of relationship? (If you act in a desperate manner, it will turn people off who genuinely want to get to know you.)
  • Do I reach out to friends to see how they are doing? (If you're only interested in people when it comes to hanging out, you are missing out on the emotional benefits of friendship. Get to know friends as people first rather than as "someone to hang out with.")
  • Have I joined new groups or classes where I can explore my passion? (If you aren't consistently looking for opportunities to do new things, you won't get a chance to meet new people.)
  • Do I spend a lot of time at home when I could be out getting coffee, doing laundry, or working on the computer? (If you're too much of a couch potato, you need to work on seeing more people on a regular basis in order to meet new friends. Another good idea is to log on to websites that can connect you with people.)

Reaching Out to Make Friends

Regardless of the reason, know that you do have the power to make friends. Friendships are available if you use the right approach when it comes to developing new relationships. There are several ways to have more friends, but remember that it does take time. Make an effort each day toward building friendships and soon your life will be filled with them.

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