What Are the Signs That a Girl is a Lesbian?

Two girls walking to the beach with surfboards
Hans Neleman/Taxi/Getty Images

There's Only One Real Way to Know

Whether you are a lesbian or not, at some point, you have probably wondered if a girl you met was a lesbian. So how can you actually know? Despite what you may have heard, there are no real signs, and the only way to be sure, is if someone tells you.

But She Just Fits the Profile!

You may have heard stereotypes about lesbians, like how they like cats, don't shave their legs, or have radical politics.

 And while you are probably well aware that most stereotypes don't apply to all lesbians, a lot of people still look at certain attributes as signs that a girl is queer.

Sure, there may be hints that a girl is a lesbian, and some people are pretty convinced that they have finely tuned gaydar, but there are no clear signs that apply to everyone all the time. Really.

It's One Thing if You Are Straight, Another if You Are Queer

Though straight people often try to figure this out, lesbians or bisexual girls have a lot of good reasons to try to determine if a girl is a lesbian. This might happen if a teen is trying to figure out if she can come out safely to a peer, if she is looking for a friend with similar interests and also if she is interested in another girl and is trying to figure out whether or not she has a shot.

As one teen lesbian wrote into the site:

"I'm a 15 year old girl and I have a crush on my close friend. I'm confused by the way she acts when she's with me. She touches me and flirts with me when she isn't around her friends. She invites me over to her place when her parents aren't home. I confused and don't know if she's really a lesbian."

Unfortunately, the "signs" described here aren't clear cut. They could be an indication of this girl's sexual orientation, or they just could be a personality trait of an affectionate straight girl. You could spend all day looking for signs, or you could just come right out and ask! Really, that is the only way to know someone's sexual orientation.

But of course, many people aren't comfortable doing that.

When You Don't Want to Just Come Out and Ask

Even though asking directly is the most likely way for you to figure something out, there will be times, you just won't want to do that.

Another idea is to ask some leading questions, like: "So, what do you think of the marriage equality ruling?" Or, "Think you might join the GSA?" Keep in mind, the answers might not prove anything conclusive, but they might be a good way to start a conversation about lesbian issues.


While a lot of the signs you might be looking for (an interest in certain music, fashion, or political causes, for example) may be stereotypically associated with being a lesbian, and some lesbians might embrace them, others simply won't. Lesbians, like straight women, have a huge range of interests and mannerisms, sometimes these are related to their sexual orientation. But a whole lot of times, they just aren't.



What Are the Signs That a Guy is Gay?