Twin Beds or Separate Bedrooms Are Okay for Married Couples

Sleeping Apart Can Prevent a Divorce

Sleeping in Twin Beds
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Twin beds or separate bedrooms could save your marriage if your spouse's snoring or tossing and turning is keeping you awake. Sleeping separately is okay.

"As many as thirty to forty per cent of couples sleep in different beds, Director of Ryerson’s Sleep and Depression Laboratory Colleen Carney told CBC. Basing her conclusions on her clinics observations of sleep quality, she said the practice, perceived by many as taboo, can actually improve relationships."
Source: "More Couples Opting to Sleep in Separate Beds, Study Suggests." 8/06/2013.

"Bedtime troubles send three in 10 couples to separate rooms, according to a poll by the National Sleep Foundation, a nonprofit agency. About a quarter of people with partners and 10 percent of singles said sleep problems left them too tired for sex." 
Source: JoNel Aleccia, "Do you think I'm sexy? Apnea aid raises doubts",, 3/20/08.

Your Bed or Mine?

Although some couples worry that sleeping in twin beds or having separate rooms will hurt their intimacy with one another, many sleep experts believe that sleeping apart when there are sleep problem issues can save a marriage and increase intimacy.

If you believe in your marriage, trust each other, and communicate well with one another about the issue of lack of sleep in your lives, sleeping apart won't hurt your marital intimacy. Asking the question, "Your room or mine" can increase your sexual delight with your spouse.

Having Your Own Room

"In a survey in February by the National Association of Home Builders, builders and architects predicted that more than 60 percent of custom houses would have dual master bedrooms by 2015, according to Gopal Ahluwalia, staff vice president of research at the builders association. Some builders say more than a quarter of their new projects already do."
Source: Tracie Rozhon, "To Have, Hold and Cherish, Until Bedtime", New York Times, March 11, 2007.

Nocturnal Restlessness

Tossing and turning, temperature preferences, the feel or weight of linens, hard or soft mattress, snoring, body clocks, and other nocturnal activities lead to a majority of married partners having considerable sleep loss.

The National Sleep Foundation 2005 Sleep in America poll revealed that 23 percent of couples experiencing sleep problems end up in separate beds anyway.

More from the National Sleep Foundation poll:

  • When one spouse has a sleep problem, three-quarters of their spouses end up with sleep problems, too.
  • If a spouse snores, the other spouse loses an average of 49 minutes of sleep each night.
  • More than one-third of people with sleep issues say the issues caused problems in their relationship.
  • One-quarter of spouses admitted that their sexual relationship had been affected by sleep issues.

Sleep Deprivation Problems

Additionally, lack of sleep can contribute to a greater risk of heart disease, diabetes, and depression. Additionally, lack of sleep can lead to driving drowsy, less productivity, less sex in your marriage, and being moody.

Don't ignore sleep problems in your marriage. Ultimately, unresolved, sleep issues will create more problems for the two of you.