Entertainment Love and Romance Top 10 Marriage Mistakes to Avoid Share PINTEREST Email Print Love and Romance Relationships Sexuality Divorce Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Sheri Stritof Writer University of Nevada, Las Vegas Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. our editorial process Sheri Stritof Updated January 26, 2018 There is often a pattern to the marital problems and issues that people tend to have. If you and your partner are having any of these issues, think about coming together to make some changes, visiting some marriage counseling forums, or enlisting the help of a professional marriage counselor. Here's a list of the top 10 things that you need to try to avoid, or fix, in your own marriage. Lack of Respect Gary Waters / Getty Images Showing a lack of respect to your partner is quite troubling in a marriage. Don't badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates. Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated. You should be speaking kindly to each other. Not Listening to Your Spouse Peter Dazeley / Getty Images You should not simply hear the words spoken, but show you are actively engaged in conversation as well. Not listening includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting. Expecting your spouse to be a mind reader is another big communication mistake. Little or No Physical Intimacy Tomas Rodriguez / Getty Images A lack of physical affection or sexual intimacy will turn lovers into roommates. This is a death knell for a marriage. Seek medical advice and marriage counseling if necessary. Spouses should not leave their partners wondering why there is no interest in sex. It's not fair to either of you. Always Having to Be Right Tetra Images / Getty Images It is impossible for you to be always right. If you try, you may win the battle, but lose the war! Having to be right includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever. Admit when you make a mistake or that you don't have all the answers. And please, please, don't answer every simple question your spouse asks with a long-winded boring dissertation on the topic.That doesn't answer the question. Not Walking the Talk Gary Waters / Getty Images Actions do speak louder than words. When you say you'll do something, do it. When you say you won't do something, follow through. Keep your promises. If this does not happen, it will erode the trust and safety between you. Your partner must be able to count on you! Hurtful Teasing Hill Street Studios / Getty Images If your spouse says the teasing is hurtful, considers it a put-down, or thinks that it is inappropriate, then stop it. Claiming that your spouse doesn't have a sense of humor or is too sensitive is being inconsiderate and unkind. Dishonesty Emilija Manevska / Getty Images There is no room in a marriage for deceit or dishonesty. Having lies and secrets in your relationship can create distance and lack of trust between the two of you. Be honest with each other. Honesty is considered a must-have among most married couples. Nasty Habits Can Hurt Your Marriage Nycretoucher / Getty Images Bad habits like having gross personal hygiene, always being late, or nitpicking everything are not good for your relationship. The worst part is when you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy. If your spouse brings up an issue he or she finds aggravating, make a concerted effort to make a change. Being Selfish or Greedy Stephen Swintek / Getty Images Being selfish is when you spend money on yourself, but make a big deal if your spouse spends a dime. It's not wanting to open your home to friends and family because you prefer to be alone and don't want the hassle of entertaining. It's hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants when you could afford better, or not watching movies your spouse wants to see. It's also being uncompromising. Having Temper Tantrums Gary Waters / Getty Images Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end. It's also manipulative. Learn how to fight fair and to make your marital relationship the winner of any disagreement the two of you have. If you still find anger get's the best of you, get some professional help.