Top 10 Marriage Mistakes to Avoid

There is often a pattern to the marital problems and issues that people tend to have. If you and your partner are having any of these issues, think about coming together to make some changes, visiting some marriage counseling forums, or enlisting the help of a professional marriage counselor. Here's a list of the top 10 things that you need to try to avoid, or fix, in your own marriage.

Lack of Respect

Couple standing on top of broken heart
Gary Waters / Getty Images

Showing a lack of respect to your partner is quite troubling in a  marriage. Don't badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates. Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated. You should be speaking kindly to each other. 

Not Listening to Your Spouse

Wedding cake couple
Peter Dazeley / Getty Images

You should not simply hear the words spoken, but show you are actively engaged in conversation as well. Not listening includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting. Expecting your spouse to be a mind reader is another big communication mistake.

Little or No Physical Intimacy

Couple in bed with arms crossed
Tomas Rodriguez / Getty Images

A lack of physical affection or sexual intimacy will turn lovers into roommates. This is a death knell for a marriage. Seek medical advice and marriage counseling if necessary. Spouses should not leave their partners wondering why there is no interest in sex. It's not fair to either of you.

Always Having to Be Right

Young couple arguing at home
Tetra Images / Getty Images

It is impossible for you to be always right. If you try, you may win the battle, but lose the war! Having to be right includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever. Admit when you make a mistake or that you don't have all the answers. And please, please, don't answer every simple question your spouse asks with a long-winded boring dissertation on the topic.That doesn't answer the question.

Not Walking the Talk

Man and woman discussing standing on top of supporting hands
Gary Waters / Getty Images

Actions do speak louder than words. When you say you'll do something, do it. When you say you won't do something, follow through. Keep your promises. If this does not happen, it will erode the trust and safety between you. Your partner must be able to count on you!

Hurtful Teasing

Friends talking at party
Hill Street Studios / Getty Images

If your spouse says the teasing is hurtful, considers it a put-down, or thinks that it is inappropriate, then stop it. Claiming that your spouse doesn't have a sense of humor or is too sensitive is being inconsiderate and unkind. 


Young woman spy on husband's cell phone
Emilija Manevska / Getty Images

There is no room in a marriage for deceit or dishonesty. Having lies and secrets in your relationship can create distance and lack of trust between the two of you. Be honest with each other. Honesty is considered a must-have among most married couples. 

Nasty Habits Can Hurt Your Marriage

Watching TV with wife
Nycretoucher / Getty Images

Bad habits like having gross personal hygiene, always being late, or nitpicking everything are not good for your relationship. The worst part is when you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy. If your spouse brings up an issue he or she finds aggravating, make a concerted effort to make a change. 

Being Selfish or Greedy

Woman & man & oversized credit card on couch
Stephen Swintek / Getty Images

Being selfish is when you spend money on yourself, but make a big deal if your spouse spends a dime. It's not wanting to open your home to friends and family because you prefer to be alone and don't want the hassle of entertaining. It's hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants when you could afford better, or not watching movies your spouse wants to see. It's also being uncompromising

Having Temper Tantrums

Couple arguing on seesaw
Gary Waters / Getty Images

Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end. It's also manipulative. Learn how to fight fair and to make your marital relationship the winner of any disagreement the two of you have. If you still find anger get's the best of you, get some professional help.