Entertainment Love and Romance Top First Date Mistakes to Avoid Share PINTEREST Email Print Love and Romance LGBTQ Relationships Sexuality Divorce Teens Friendship By Kathy Belge Syracuse University Kathy Belge is a writer and coauthor of Lipstick & Dipstick’s Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships and Queer: The Ultimate LGBT Guide for Teens. our editorial process Facebook Facebook Twitter Twitter LinkedIn LinkedIn Kathy Belge Updated August 20, 2019 We'll all been there. The girl looks so promising on her online profile, or when you meet her at the bar. You've taken that brave first step and asked her on a date, so now don't screw it up. Here are the top first date mistakes lesbians need to avoid. 01 of 10 Don't Give Too Much Information Betsie Van Der Meer/Taxi/Getty Images You know the saying: TMI. Maybe eventually she'll want to hear about your mother who verbally abused you as a child or the time you and your ex-husband had a threesome with another woman, but NOT on the first date, or even in the first month of dating. Sure you can talk about where you grew up and if you were married, but keep the very personal details private. 02 of 10 Don't Answer Your Cell Phone You might think she'll be impressed with the number of times your phone goes off in one night. Boy, aren't you popular! Really, she'll be more impressed if you focus your attention on her. Turn the cell phone off and put it in your pocket. 03 of 10 Talk Too Much About Your Ex It's okay to mention that you've had exes and even how long you were together. But don't go on and on about what a mean and evil bitch she was, how she threw a rock through your window and kidnapped your cat. Likewise, don't tell her how much you were in love with her and how you thought you were going to spend the rest of your lives together. Put your past behind you and focus on the future. 04 of 10 Don't Get Drunk One or two drinks is fine, but know your limit. No one wants to worry about how a date they just met is going to drive herself home, or worse, watch her throw up in the bathroom. 05 of 10 Don't Take Her to a Place Where All Your Friends Are You asked her on a date because you want to get to know her. You don't need your friend making a face at you from across the room or interrupting your conversation. Go someplace you feel comfortable, but where you can talk in private. 06 of 10 Don't Get Too Maudlin Keep it light. Sure you can talk about serious issues if they're meaningful to you, but don't drone on and on about depressing topics. Take your cue from her body language. Is she tuning out? Change the topic. 07 of 10 Don't Plan Too Long of a Date Keep the first date short and simple. Don't invite her up for a day of apple picking, bike riding, dinner and hot tubbing. Go for coffee, ice cream or a simple dinner. You don't want to be stuck all day with someone if things don't go well. Or if things do go well, you want to save some activities for the second and third dates. 08 of 10 Don't Get Too High Expectations It's a first date. Nothing more. Don't start making plans to move in together or start believing you're now "girlfriends." 09 of 10 Don't Play Games If the date's not going well and you want a way out, simply say it was nice meeting her and excuse yourself. Don't have your friends call you and pretend there's been an accident and you need to come quickly. Be honest. Don't say you want a second date if you don't intend to follow through. 10 of 10 Don't Be Rude Show up on time. Be nice to her and to any wait staff or people you encounter. Let her see your best side, even if you never intend to see her again. Remember, she may have a friend you're interested in.