Entertainment Love and Romance 5 Things You Need to Know About Cheating, Affairs and Infidelity Affairs are as old as marriage itself Share PINTEREST Email Print Love and Romance Relationships Sexuality Divorce Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Cathy Meyer University of Florida Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms.com. As a divorce mediator, she provides clients with strategies and resources that enable them to power through a time of adversity. our editorial process Facebook Facebook Twitter Twitter Cathy Meyer Updated May 23, 2019 The union is a tradition that has been around since humans were living in caves. So have extra-marital affairs. Since almost the beginning of time, humans have believed that marriage was important in maintaining a cohesive, healthy society. Another belief that was collectively held about marriage was the idea that the union was to be monogamous. Despite this belief, some human beings can't seem to live a monogamous lifestyle. Research has shown that affairs are as old as marriage itself. Why People Have Affairs Maskot/Getty Images Some say that monogamous relationships are not natural. They believe human beings are not biologically inclined to mate for life. I say that for every person who has had an affair there is probably a reason to justify it, in their eyes. My opinion is that we set our expectations of what marriage is too high. When our expectations aren't met we look outside the marriage for someone who can meet them. Affair Statistics Why People Cheat The Appeal of Online Affairs Types of Affairs The Myth vs. The Reality of Infidelity Who's the Other Partner? nortonrsx/Getty Images In general, society looks at the other man/other woman as being the responsible party in an affair. It's understandable that the other man/other woman become the target for the rage and anger the deceived spouse feels. Blaming the other man/other woman keeps us from having to take responsibility for the problems in the marriage and our own feelings, so we like to pretend that if it hadn't been for that other person there would have never been an affair. Problem is, there would have been, it just would have been a different other man/other woman. Other Man/Other Woman Why The Other Man/Other Woman Slept With Your Spouse Should You Sue For Alienation of Affections? How Do You Know? blackCAT/Getty Images Determining whether or not your spouse is cheating means distinquishing between the "feeling" that something is wrong and the reality of the situation. You feel in your gut that something is up due to a change in behaviors on your spouse's part but when you attempt to discuss your suspisions your spouse shuts you down. Your spouse has become distant, he/she is working longer hours or, your sex life has died off. All the signs are there, I encourage you to pay attention to the signs but don't confuse signs with proof. Don't make accusations you can't back-up with proof! Signs Your Spouse Is Having an Affair Emotional Affairs Is Your Spouse Having an Online Affair? How to Respond Eugenio Marongiu If it comes up, you are going to have to respond in some way. The big question is how will you respond. The answer, hopefully in a way that doesn't make an already bad situation worse. You may feel the need to spy on your spouse if you are suspicious of their activities. This is understandable, especially if you are considering divorce and need to protect your financial interest in the marriage. Spying On Your Cheating Spouse Cheating And Divorce When Your Husband Won't Leave The Other Woman After Effects heshphoto/Getty Images When one partner goes outside of the relationship for emotional or physical needs, the other partner may end the relationship, or forgive and stay in it, but either way, extra-marital affairs have major effects that can be felt for some time. Major Effects of An Affair Negative Consequences of Extra-Marital Affairs Will Your Marriage Survive an Affair?