The 25 Worst Rap Lyrics of All Time

The rhymes are so bad you can't 'un-hear' them

Through the power of language, hip-hop poets help shape our world and pull us closer into theirs. Rap has produced so many quotable lines and smart lyrics.

Once in a while, however, you'll hear a rhyme that makes you chuckle, shake your head or bury your face in your palm. Sometimes it's an entire verse. Or an entire song. These things happen. We can't unhear shoddy lyrics, so we might as well laugh at them.

From mathematical misfires to unfortunate puns, here are the 25 worst rap lyrics: 

of 25

Notorious B.I.G.: '10 Crack Commandments'

The Notorious B.I.G.
Adger Cowans/Getty Images
"Rule nombre uno..."

The Notorious B.I.G. is one of the greatest lyricists of all time, and it isn't polite to speak ill of the dead. Let's just say that everyone in the studio at the time of the recording was so thoroughly captivated by Biggie's flow that they overlooked his shaky Spanglish on "10 Crack Commandments."

of 25

Timbaland: 'Get on the Bus'

Ian Gavan / Getty Images
"There's no need to lie, folk,
Why you sleepin' wit ya eyes closed?"

Maybe Timbaland is trying to educate us on the distinction between sleeping with your eyes closed and sleeping with your eyes partially or fully open, a medical condition known as lagophthalmos. Maybe not.

of 25

Canibus: 'Funk Master Flex Freestyle'

Johnny Nunez/WireImage/Getty Images
"I can double my density from 360 degrees to 720 instantly."

Obviously, Canibus slept through third grade when they went over units of measurement.

of 25

Jay-Z: 'It's Hot'

Jay Z
Dr. Billy Ingram/WireImage/Getty Images
"Thirty-eight revolve like the sun round the Earth."

Speaking of sleeping in class, it looks like Jay Z missed basic astronomy in science class.

of 25

Peter Gunz: 'Deja Vu (Uptown Baby)'

Peter Gunz
Johnny Nunez/WireImage/Getty Images
"N****s in the Bronx call me Lex cause I push a Lex, and I rock a Rolex, and I lounge on Lex"

Let's do the math: "Uptown Baby" was released in 1998. It was probably recorded a year earlier. What are the odds that Cory Gunz ghostwrote this line for his pops at age 10?

of 25

Dr. Dre: 'Nuthin' but a "G" Thang'

Dr. Dre
Ken Weingart/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images
"Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I'm slippin."

You already know that Dr. Dre is one of the greatest hip-hop producers of all time. But did you know that he's also one of the greatest self-prophesying emcees of all time? Who else could possibly slip while saying "Never let me slip"?

of 25

Redman: '5 Boroughs'

Matthew Simmons/WireImage/Getty Images
"My paragraph alone is worth five mics
A 12-song LP, that's thirty-six mics (uh-huh)"

Apparently, Redman's calculator is a bit off. Notice how he ad-libs his math for emphasis. It's akin to faceplanting while taking a selfie.

of 25

Kanye West: 'Gettin' It In'

Kanye West
KMazur/WireImage/Getty Images
"Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous
My apologies, are you into astrology
Cause I'm, I'm tryin to make it to Uranus"

You're probably thinking, "Kanye, you genius. You probably know something about astrology that we don't. And this is why you're the one making millions from music." If you're thinking this, you're probably Kanye West.

of 25

Jay Z: 'Glory'

Jay Z
Jon Super / Getty Images
"You're a child of destiny
You're the child of my destiny
You're my child with the child from Destiny's Child"

You know Jay had to try this one at least once, given his wife's background. Luckily, he realized how silly it sounds and never tried it again.

of 25

LFO: 'Summer Girls'

Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic/Getty Images
"When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets."

Cut LFO some slack. These guys graduated from the Vanilla Ice Institute of Hip-Hop and decided to try their hands at random word association.

of 25

Cam'Ron: '5 Boroughs'

John Ricard/FilmMagic/Getty Images
"Sometime y'all get crimey crimey, grimy grimy But those with a tiny hiney they get whiny whiny."

Someone should have told Cam that this choppy choppy rhyme thingy thingy is silly silly.

of 25

Project Pat: 'Ballers'

Project Pat
Bennett Raglin/BET/Getty Images for BET
"I'm hungry for cheese like Hungry, Hungry Hippo."

This is a funny line. You can visualize exactly how hungry he is for cheese (aka money) by how many times he repeats the word "hungry." One more "hungry" and we're talking "I'll eat a buttered dollar bill at this point" hungry.

of 25

Master P: 'Do You Know'

Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images
"If you don't bring back my m****r f****n money
or my m****r f****n dope,
you can forget about Christmas n***a,
cause you ain't gon even see New Year's."

This line makes sense only if you're planning nearly a calendar year ahead. Since it's not clear which calendar P is using, it practically neuters the threat.

of 25

Prodigy: 'Click Clack'

Gary Gershoff/Getty Images
"It's like fee, fie, foe, fum, I smell the blood of a jealous a*s punk."

Here Prodigy turns to nursery rhymes.

of 25

Lil' Fame (of M.O.P.): 'Half and Half'

Lil' Fame
Hiroyuki Ito/Getty Images
"First family will gradually lift that a*s up like gravity."

Gravity isn't what Lil' Fame thinks it is. Sir Isaac Newton must be turning in his grave.

of 25

Pimpin: 'Freaky as She Wanna Be'

John Ricard/FilmMagic/Getty Images
"D.D.T. the b***h, I can go for some hours.
Let Parlae hit, together we like twin towers."

One quality of great songwriters is knowing what's sacred and unfunny. No matter how tempting, there's nothing funny about a Twin Towers joke.

of 25

Chingy: 'Balla Baby'

Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images
"I like them Black, White, Puerto Rican, or Haitian
Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian."

As far as Chingy's concerned, "Asian" is a separate nationality. 

of 25

50 Cent: 'Candy Shop'

50 Cent
Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images
"I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho."

Aside from the gender issue, the funny thing is that 50 later tried to sell a brand of Magic Stick condoms. It flopped harder than Kevin Federline's rap career.

of 25

Foxy Brown: 'Affirmative Action'

Foxy Brown
Johnny Nunez/Getty Images
"Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get 16, double it times three.
We got 48, which mean a whole lot of cream
Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight
We back to 16..."

Foxy Brown's verse on "Affirmative Action" holds the world's record for worst mathematics in a song. Some believe that Nas ghostwrote this line, which makes it even more hilarious.

of 25

Ali G: 'Grillz'

Ali G
Chris Polk/FilmMagic/Getty Images
"Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham."

This is probably one of those things you say to your friends when you're drunk and they laugh politely. They don't want you to feel insecure about how drunk you really are.

of 25

Mase: 'Can't Nobody Hold Me Down'

Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images
"Young, Black, and famous, with money hanging out the anus."

Now, that's the type of money you wouldn't want to touch before breakfast. As your mother would say, "Go wash your hands!"

of 25

Canibus: 'Second Round KO'

Hayley Madden/Redferns/Getty Images
"You might got more cash than me, but you ain't got the skills to eat a n***a's ass like me."

To be fair, Canibus used this line in the context of a battle. He probably meant it as a metaphor. Still, it sticks out every time you listen to "Second Round KO."

of 25

Trina: 'Here We Go'

Hayley Madden/Redferns/Getty Images
"Now you know that I'm the Queen of Miami.
All that loud talkin, lyin, save that s**t for your mammy.
Sounds like 'Blah, blah blah, blah blah blah-blah,' I'm like 'uh-huh (uh-huh) OK (OK),
Whassup (whassup) Shut up!' "

Actual lyrics.

of 25

MIMS: 'This Is Why I'm Hot'

John Ricard/FilmMagic/Getty Images
"I'm hot cause I'm fly/You ain't cause you not."

Remember Mims? He had a No. 1 hit somehow. Dropped an album somehow. Headlined shows somehow. He achieved these great feats with a song titled "This Is Why I'm Hot," yet he could never effectively explain why he's hot and I'm not.

of 25

Rick Ross: 'Blk & Wht'

Rick Ross
Joseph Okpako/Redferns via Getty Images
"Trayvon Martin, I'm never missing my target."

Too much. Too rude. Too soon. He made it worse by trying to clarify what he meant. Saying "I'm reminding people that if you're a Black person or a person of color for that matter in this country, you have to be accurate" makes no sense. Just no.