Entertainment Love and Romance 4 Stages of Grief in Children How to Help Your Children Cope With the Stages of Grief Share PINTEREST Email Print Photo © Westend61/Getty Images Love and Romance Relationships Sexuality Divorce Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Jennifer Wolf Communications Director Seattle Pacific University Jennifer Wolf is a PCI Certified Parent Coach and a strong advocate for single moms and dads. our editorial process Twitter Twitter LinkedIn LinkedIn Jennifer Wolf Updated April 17, 2018 Whether your children are grieving over the loss of a grandparent or the effects of divorce on your immediate family, you are likely to be grieving right alongside them. That alone makes helping your children cope with the stages of grief more complicated. Bereavement researchers, John Bowlby and Colin Murray Parkes, have divided grief into four distinct phases, or stages of grief, that individuals experience. Knowing what to anticipate as your children move through the stages of grief, will help you to help them cope with this dynamic process. The Four Stages of Grief in Children Include: Shock and NumbnessWhether your child is coping with a loss due to death, or because you've just recently announced your impending divorce or separation, he or she is likely to be stunned at first. On the surface, it may appear that your child is functioning fairly well. However, beneath the surface, he or she is just beginning to cope with the loss. For this reason, your child's ability to think clearly and concentrate may be impaired during this stage in the grieving process. You can help by:Being patientListeningGiving your child space to think through the lossMaking yourself available when your child is ready to talkYearning and SearchingDuring this stage, your child may appear restless, angry, or bewildered; or express feelings of guilt over the loss. These intense and unresolved feelings may result in the child acting out toward others, or completely withdrawing from his or her social and family connections. You can help by:Allowing your child to express his or her feelingsRealizing that your child's feelings may change drastically from day to dayRemaining calmDisorientation and DisorganizationDuring this stage, your child may experience extreme sadness or depression over the loss. He or she may also continue to experience feelings of guilt or anger while the reality of loss continues to "sink in." This may manifest itself in your child's loss of appetite, sleeplessness, and lack of enthusiasm for things he/she used to enjoy. You can help by:Making sure your child gets adequate nutrition and restContinuing to be available to your childProviding opportunities to spend time outside togetherReorganization and ResolutionDuring this stage, your child begins to accept the loss and assimilate it into his or her life. In addition to noticing that your child seems less sad, you may also notice that he or she has more energy and is able to think more clearly again. You can help by:Realizing that your child may fluctuate back into previously experienced stages of griefRemaining alert to any changes in your child's behavior or mental stateEncouraging your child to share his or her feelings as needed References:"The Grief Process." www.usd.edu. The University of South Dakota. 10 Mar. 2008 [a href="http://www.usd.edu/med/som/genetics/curriculum/4DGRIEF4.htm"].