'The Santa Clause' Quotes

The Tim Allen movie tells the story of a replacement Santa

Santa Claus and presents
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"The Santa Clause" is a 1994 movie starring Tim Allen, about Scott Calvin, a man who injures Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. He and his son Charlie find Santa's sleigh and reindeer (the jolly old elf is nowhere to be found), and they finish his Christmas Eve toy deliveries.

But when Scott and Charlie go to the North Pole to return the sleigh, they discover the catch: Scott is now the new Santa, and has to take on his responsibilities. Scott at first has trouble believing what happened was real, but Charlie remembers everything and starts telling people his dad is Santa Claus.

This causes friction with Charlie's mother, Scott's ex-wife Laura. Eventually, with the help of a magical snow globe, Scott accepts his new role, and he smoothes things over with Laura so that he can be a part of Charlie's life. 

The movie was a critical and box office success and resulted in two sequels (that were not as well-received as the original). 

Here are some memorable quotes from the movie "The Santa Clause." 

Quotes from Scott Calvin

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! When I get home, I'm getting a CAT scan!"

"Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?"

"Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we're going to destroy our son's delusions, I should be a part of it."

"Well kids, I certainly hope you have been good this year because it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home."

"Charlie, stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease."

Quotes from Charlie Calvin

"You said you believe in Santa Claus, right Dad?"

"Charlie: Whoa, Dad! You're flying!"

"Charlie: Get the bag of toys.

Scott: And do what?

Charlie: Go down the chimney.

Scott: Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house in my underwear?"

"Bernard: Hey, how are you doing?

Scott: I'm just saying good-bye to Charlie.

Bernard: What good-bye? Charlie, you've still got the glass ball I gave you, right

Charlie: Yeah.

Bernard: Well, all you've got to do is shake it, whenever you want to see your dad. He can come back to visit you any time day or night.

Charlie: Really?

Bernard: Have I ever steered you wrong?"

Quotes From Other Characters in 'The Santa Clause'

"Laura: All Neil told him was that Santa was more of a feeling. More of a state of mind than an actual person."

"Little Elf Judy: Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing."

"Mr. Whittle: You should see a doctor, a shrink, a dietician, anything. I don't know what's happening to you. You're starting to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy."

"E. L. F. S. Leader: We're your worst nightmare... Elves with attitude."

"Bernard: In putting on the suit and entering the sleigh, the wearer waives any and all right to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus, in perpetuity to which ​time the wearer becomes unable to do so by either accident or design."