The Best 4/20 Weed Jokes and Memes

Ah, April 20th...4/20...It's the yearly celebration of everyone's favorite illicit (in most states) substance, marijuana. Marijuana. Ganja. Mary Jane...a weed by any other name would smell as...um, pungent? Skunky?

In celebration of nature's favorite psychoactive drug, and the hilarious stoners who love it, here's a list of some of the funniest weed-related jokes and memes from around the web. Grab some Cheetos and your best three-foot bong (What? Doesn't everybody own one?) and get ready for a serious case of the giggles.

How do you know when you are stoned?

Via Reddit.

Answer: When you are too phoned to stone home.

Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?

Via Distractify.

Answer: Because pot holder was taken.

How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?

Via Reddit.

Answer: Wave.

What do you get when you eat marijuana?

Via Vibe.

Answer: A pot belly.

What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs?

Via Heavy.

Answer: Double jointed.

How do you know when you have smoked enough pot?

Via Vibe.

Answer: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.

How do you know you're a pothead?

Via BuzzFeed.

Answer: You studied five days for a urine test.

What do you call a pothead who doesn't inhale?

Via Imgur.

Answer: Mr. President.

How do fish party?

Via Reddit.

Answer: Seaweed.

Why did the pothead plant Cheerios?

Via Tumblr.

Answer: He thought they were donut seeds.

What do you call a person who remembers what they did at Woodstock?

Via Nugz.

Answer: A liar.

What do you call one bowl between three tokers?

Via Reddit.

Answer: Malnutrition.

What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?

Via Weed Memes.

Answer: A pot hole.

How do you know you are a true stoner?

Via Weed Memes.

Answer: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes.

What is reality?

Via Reddit.

Answer: An illusion caused by a lack of good weed.

What is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign?

Via Meme Generator.

Answer: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green.

How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Via Heavy.

Answer: Screw it, we got lighters.

How long does it take before a pound of bud goes bad?

Via We Know Memes.

Answer: I don't know. I've never had it longer than an hour.

How do you hide pot from a hippie?

Via Heavy.

Answer: Put it in his work boots.

What is the difference between politicians and stoners?

Via Someecards.

Answer: Politicians don't inhale...they just suck.

What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?

Via Meme Generator.

Answer: Homeless.

If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?

Via Meme Generator.

Answer: The cop.

Why did the stoner cross the street?

Via Vibe.

Answer: His dealer lived on the other side.

How do you hide money from a hippie?

Via Reddit.

Answer: Put it under the soap.

How did the pothead burn his ear?

Via Heavy.

Answer: He answered the phone while ironing his clothes.

How do you get a one-armed hippie out of a tree?

Via Imgur.

Answer: Hold out a joint.

Watch Now: How April 20 Became the Official "Weed Day"