Texting Do’s and Don’ts for Dating Success

Man texting
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When it comes to texting and its role in dating and new relationships, you and your partner may have a very different style and approach. For instance, you may text non-stop with your friends, always utilize emojis and basically correspond in abbreviations all day long. However, your new love interest may have a different approach to texting, and perhaps he or she always uses appropriate punctuation, prefers to use GIFs or rarely texts in general.

So in order for you both to truly communicate in every respect, it’s important that you understand the major do’s and don’ts for texting and dating.

Texting Do’s

“Just because” texts. When you’re starting to date someone new, a great way to let this person know that you’re thinking about him or her is by texting to show that he or she’s on your mind. Whether it’s to say good morning, good night or just “thinking about you,” this simple action can speak volumes in terms of letting this person know that he or she’s important enough for you to take time to say hello.

Topic reference texts. Another great way to let your date know that you’re thinking of him or her is by sending a text that directly refers to a specific topic that you discussed when you were together. For instance, if you talked about how you’re both obsessed with chai lattes and now you find yourself drinking one, sending a text referring to what you’re up to is a terrific way to let this person know that your conversation was meaningful and memorable.

Making plans via text. Setting up plans via text is a standard and easy way to lock in a time and place to see each other, and it allows you to make full use of technology in order to clarify your outing. For example, if you’re going to meet for dinner, you can text the exact time and location to him or her as well as any other pertinent information so as to avoid a miscommunication about your upcoming plans.

“Looking forward to” texts. Along these lines, a major texting “do” is to send a text that lets this person know that you’re truly anticipating your time together. Not only does this create instant excitement and intrigue, it also helps to confirm that you’re both still on for hanging out without having to directly ask.

“Thank you” texts. If you want to show your appreciation as well as let your date know that you really enjoyed your time together, sending a thank you text is always a good choice. It not only shows that you’re a kind and grateful person, it also helps open the door to a conversation about when you’ll hang out again in the future.

Texting Don’ts

Asking question after question. In order to avoid a major texting faux pas, it’s time to stop asking your date a million questions via text. While your instinct may be to keep asking questions in order to sustain a conversation, this person can feel like you’re grilling him or her, and your discussion becomes an uncomfortable and unwanted interrogation. Instead, let the dialogue flow and develop on its own rather than playing 20 questions.

Texting novels. While you may have a lot to say, it’s important to remember that texts are most effective when they’re short and sweet.

Nobody wants to read a seemingly endless soliloquy on his or her phone, so if you’re used to sending off paragraph after paragraph, you should employ your editing skills so that these long texts don’t make you seem long-winded while making your relationship short-lived.  

Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer texts. Sure, maybe you had a terrible day, but constantly sending negative texts to your date can paint you as a pessimistic person. While you should feel free to express your true thoughts, complaining about the weather, talking smack about your roommate and/or ripping on your colleague’s incorrect work is the incorrect texting approach. Remember, upbeat and positive texts often yield positive relationship results.

Having unrealistic response expectations. While you may want your love interest to respond to you right away, it’s important to be respectful of his or her time when you send off a barrage of texts.

When you text without fully comprehending his or her daily commitments, responsibilities and time allotments, you can easily misinterpret a belated response and/or a truncated conversation as a lack of interest.

Reading too much into texts. Along these lines, it’s important that you stop overanalyzing every single text that you send and receive, such as obsessing over the exact wording, the use of capitalization and/or the frequency. After all, in order to figure out if there’s a potential future between the two of you, it’s time to focus on how you are together in person rather than stressing out about the true meaning behind a smiley face versus a wink face.