Entertainment Love and Romance 10 Tips for a Healthy Lesbian Relationship Ways to Ensure Your Relationship Is Happy and Healthy Share PINTEREST Email Print Love and Romance LGBTQ Relationships Divorce Teens Friendship By Kathy Belge Kathy Belge Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Syracuse University Kathy Belge is a writer and coauthor of Lipstick & Dipstick’s Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships and Queer: The Ultimate LGBT Guide for Teens. Learn about our Editorial Process Updated on 09/23/17 Good relationships don't just happen, they take dedication and work. But you also need to know what to work at. Here are some tips for a happy and healthy lesbian relationship. 01 of 10 Don't Expect to Get Your Needs Met FilippoBacci/E+/Getty Images Expecting someone else to meet your needs is a failed concept. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and what you can do to support your partner. This will bring out the best in both of you. 02 of 10 Establish Meaningful Rituals Whether you take a walk after dinner each night or make pizza together every Friday night, establishing rituals allows you to stay in touch with each others' lives. Make dates on Saturdays or even just doing regular household chores together, like cleaning or grocery shopping helps keep you connected. 03 of 10 Work on Improving Yourself For a relationship to be healthy, you need to grow and change. Work on yourself and also on trying to be a better partner. Try on new behaviors. Take some risks. 04 of 10 Have More Positive Than Negative Interactions Try to have a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative interactions. Give more compliments, hugs, affection, and appreciation than negative comments or blaming. Better yet, try to eliminate negative comments altogether. 05 of 10 Surprise Her! Keep things exciting with surprises. Take her on a special date night, sneak a love note into her briefcase, send her flowers, bring her lunch at work. Buy her tickets to her favorite musician or write her a song and sing it to her while she's in the tub. Surprises little and big are important to keep things fresh. 06 of 10 Take Care of Yourself No one is a good partner if they're stressed out and unhappy. Make sure you take the time for yourself to stay healthy. Eat right, exercise, do yoga, take alone time when you need it. The better you feel about yourself, the more you're going to be able to give to your relationship. 07 of 10 Develop Common Interests Nothing kills a relationship faster than sitting around on a couch, looking at each other with bored looks on your faces. You're going to be spending a lot of time together, get involved in something that excites both of you. It can be golfing, traveling, or volunteering at the local animal shelter. Find your common interests and develop them into pleasurable experiences. 08 of 10 Be Kind, Not Right Whether you're right or wrong is not really the issue. Think about not being right, but about what you want, which is to have a loving relationship. Spend more time being kind and you'll argue less and enjoy each other more. 09 of 10 Fight Fair When fights or arguments do happen, don't say things in the heat of the moment that may damage your relationship. Walk away to cool off and come back to the discussion later. 10 of 10 Make Alone Time a Priority Your lives may get busy with work, children and social activities, but make sure you schedule in time each week for alone time. It's great if this time is something fun, like a date night or sexy time, but even just turning off the TV and sitting on the back porch and talking about your hopes for the future can bring you much closer together.