18 Hilarious Quotes From "Talladega Nights" Share PINTEREST Email Print Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Simran Khurana Simran Khurana Education Expert MBA in Human Resource Development and Management, Narsee Monjee Institution of Management Studies B.S. in Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, University of Mumbai Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. Learn about our Editorial Process Updated on 01/14/20 If you are a die-hard Will Ferrell fan, "Talladega Nights" is a must-watch movie. In "Talladega Nights", expect mindless humor, fast-track racing, and a lot of advertising from Taco Bell, Pepsi, and KFC. Will Ferrell sparkles with his absurdities and hilarious lines. You can sample the humor of the movie through these "Talladega Nights" quotes. You can also read some memorable quotes from Michael Clarke Duncan, who played the role of Lucius Washington. Ricky Bobby: "I'm going fast again!" Cal Naughton, Jr.: "How fast is he going?" Lucius Washington: "26 miles per hour." Lucius Washington: [trying to remove a knife in Ricky's leg] "Let's use this knife to pry it out!" Cal Naughton, Jr.: "I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger." Jean Girard: "Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?" Ricky Bobby: "You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?" Cal Naughton, Jr.: "Shake and bake!" Jean Girard: "Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?" Ricky Bobby: "Well, let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken." Ricky Bobby: "Here's the deal—I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence." Ricky Bobby: "Wow. I feel like I'm in Highlander!" Texas Ranger: "Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!" Lucius Washington: [to the crew as they are speed-changing a customer's tire] "Guys! No tires! We're not a pit crew anymore, we're a car wash team." Texas Ranger: "I'm all jacked up on mountain dew!" Texas Ranger: "One of you turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth!" Ricky Bobby: [while signing autographs] "I'd love to sign your baby!" Ricky Bobby: "If you ain't first, you're last." Texas Ranger: "Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather." Reese Bobby: "Hey, shut up you little pot-licker, I'll stick you in a microwave!" Ricky Bobby: "This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons." Ricky Bobby: "Did that blow your mind? Because that just happened!"