Humor Political Humor Stupid Fox News Quotes The Most Ridiculous Things Ever Said by Hosts Share PINTEREST Email Print Paul Zimmerman / Getty Images Political Humor Political Quotes Political Cartoons Political Jokes Political Memes By Daniel Kurtzman Daniel Kurtzman Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. Learn about our Editorial Process Updated on 05/06/19 These are some of the most ridiculous and insane statement ever made by Fox News bloviators, including Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, and others. Bill O'Reilly Quotes "If I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead. And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'" (After San Francisco voted to ban military recruiters from city schools, Nov. 8, 2005) "I just wish Hurricane Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn't have rescued them." --Bill O'Reilly on his radio show, Sept. 14, 2005 "I'll tell you what. I've been in combat. I've seen it, I've been close to it... and if my unit is danger, and I've got a captured guy, and the guy knows where the enemy is, and I'm looking him in the eye, the guy better tell me. That's all I'm gonna tell you. The guy better tell me. If it's life or death, he's going first." (On his experience as a journalist covering firefights in South and Central America, Jan. 18, 2005) "If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush Administration again, all right?" (On finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, March 18, 2003) "You know what’s really frightening? You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it’s true. You’ve got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote." (Bill O'Reilly to "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart, Sept. 22, 2004) Sean Hannity Quotes "Here you are, you're a liberal, probably define peace as the absence of conflict. I define peace as the ability to defend yourself and blow your enemies into smithereens." (October 2009) "Halloween is a liberal holiday because we're teaching our children to beg for something for free. … We're teaching kids to knock on other people's doors and ask for a handout." (October 31, 2007) "[Liberal rhetoric] now is so over the top, it's so vicious, it's so mean, it's so cruel, and I don't hear this coming from conservatives about liberals." (Said with a straight face) Glenn Beck Quotes "This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture....I'm not saying he doesn't like white people, I'm saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist." (Glenn Beck on President Obama, sparking an advertiser exodus from his FOX News show, July 28, 2009) "I went to the movie this weekend with a gun. And surprise, surprise, I didn't kill anybody!" "When you see the effects of what they're doing to the economy, remember these words: We will survive. No -- we'll do better than survive, we will thrive. As long as these people are not in control. They are taking you to a place to be slaughtered!" (Nov. 3, 2009) "Some may believe we're on the road to the Hitler youth." (On teaching kids about climate change, Fox News's Glenn Beck show, Feb. 5, 2009) "I am not saying that Barack Obama is a fascist. If I'm not mistaken, in the early days of Adolf Hitler, they were very happy to line up for help there as well. I mean, the companies were like, 'Hey, wait a minute. We can get, you know, we can get out of trouble here. They can help, et cetera, et cetera.'" (Comparing government bailouts of auto companies to actions of German companies during the rise of Hitler, Fox News's Glenn Beck show, April 1, 2009) "You have the artwork of Mussolini there, here in New York at Rockefeller Plaza." (Analyzing the artwork decorating Rockefeller Plaza, which he said contained a hammer and sickle, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel, Sept. 2, 2009) "O-L-I-G-A-R-H-Y." (Misspelling "oligarchy" on his chalk board while claiming he had deciphered a secret code that he said was proof President Obama was trying to create an "Oligarhy," Aug. 27, 2009, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel) "I could give a flying crap about the political process ... We're an entertainment company." (Forbes interview; April, 2010) More Fox News Quotes Eric Bolling "America was certainly safe between 2000 and 2008. I don't remember any attacks on American soil during that period of time." (Forgetting 9/11, July 2011) Gretchen Carlson "This is what being president of the United States is all about. It’s these tough, huge monumental decisions. It’s not about how you run a campaign. It’s not about whether or not you’re popular. It’s not about whether or not you’re a celebrity, good looking, tall or short. It’s in the time of crisis making these executive decisions. It’s just like our job – from a day-to-day basis, a lot of times where there’s big breaking news, we just sort of roll along. But what’s the role of an anchor during huge breaking news? Remember growing up? You tune to the television, and during that one moment during the year, they would have to carry a story all alone. It’s the same thing as being the President of the United States." (Comparing her job hosting a talk show to being president, June 24, 2010) Greg Gutfeld“The only problem with talking about Sarah Palin is that she works here, and it’s like a coworker. And if I say something bad and I see her in the hallway I feel really awkward and wrong. So I just kind of say, ‘that was a good job!'" To his co-host Bob Beckel on Fox News's Channel's "The Five," who agreed, saying, "It has everything to do with your paycheck. That’s why you feel awkward. I know exactly what you mean. I’ll be honest, I’ve pulled my punches.” (August 3, 2011) Bill O'Reilly and Megyn Kelly The following exchange between Fox News hosts Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly took place during a November 2011 discussion in which they tried to downplay the impact of pepper spray on student Occupy protesters at UC Davis: O’Reilly: "First of all, pepper spray—that just burns your eyes, right?" Kelly: "It’s like a derivative of actual pepper. It’s a food product, essentially."