Stupid Bill O'Reilly Quotes

10 Mind-Numbingly Stupid Quotes by Bill O'Reilly

"If I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead. And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'" -After San Francisco voted to ban military recruiters from city schools, Nov. 8, 2005 (Listen to audio clip) ( Source)
"I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn't have rescued them." -On his radio show, Sept. 14, 2005 (Source)
"We'll do it live... WE'LL DO IT LIVE! F**K IT! DO IT LIVE... look, I'll write it and we'll do it live! F**king thing SUCKS!" -Bill O'Reilly, becoming totally unhinged while shouting at a cameraman on the set of Inside Edition in the early 1990s (Watch the video)
"I'll tell you what. I've been in combat. I've seen it, I've been close to it... and if my unit is danger, and I've got a captured guy, and the guy knows where the enemy is, and I'm looking him in the eye, the guy better tell me. That's all I'm gonna tell you. The guy better tell me. If it's life or death, he's going first." -On his experience as a journalist covering firefights in South and Central America, Jan. 18, 2005.
So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your p***y but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..." -As quoted in a sexual harassment suit filed against him by a Fox News producer, 2004 (Source)
"And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called 'karma.'" -In his book, "The O'Reilly Factor For Kids," 2004 (Source)
"If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush Administration again, all right?" -On finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, March 18, 2003
"I was wrong. I am not pleased about it at all and I think all Americans should be concerned about this…What do you want me to do, go over and kiss the camera?" -On ABC's "Good Morning America," making good on his promise to publicly apologize if weapons of mass destruction were not found Iraq, Feb. 10, 2004 (Source)
"Now it's so bad that I spend an enormous amount of money protecting myself against evil." -On being Bill O'Reilly, Oct. 18, 2005
"You know what's really frightening? You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it’s true. You’ve got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote." -To "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart, Sept. 22, 2004 (Source)

Bonus Quotes

"I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by Blacks, primarily Black patronship. ... There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea.'" -Bill O'Reilly, speaking on his radio show in 2007 about eating dinner with Rev. Al Sharpton at a famed Harlem restaurant
"It's all part of the secular progressive agenda ... to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the public square. ... Because if you look at what happened in Western Europe and Canada, if you can get religion out, then you can pass secular progressive programs, like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, gay marriage." -Fox News host Bill O'Reilly, decrying the purported "War on Christmas" in 2005
"The 'shut up' line has happened only once in six years." -Responding to a viewer who said if he was so concerned about public figures being bad role models for children, he should stop interrupting guests and telling them to shut up, Nov. 15, 2002