Why You Should Stop Saying, "Dating Sucks"

Frustrated woman.
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There are times when you may feel as though dating absolutely "sucks." Perhaps the dating apps and sites aren't helping you to meet anyone of interest, you keep going on bad date after bad date, or maybe you met someone you actually liked, but this person suddenly stopped responding to your texts. In these moments of dissatisfaction, discontentment, and disappointment, you may feel entirely disenchanted by the thought of dating and have the overall attitude that dating simply sucks.

But before you make this your new mantra, it's important to understand why viewing dating in such a negative light can be problematic.

1. You're Setting Yourself Up to Fail

When you choose to approach dating with the mindset that dating sucks, this pessimistic outlook is going to impact each date that you have in the future—and not in a good way. When you go on a date already thinking that it's going to be terrible, this type of negative expectation can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and affect your behavior, actions, and energy on the date. But if you choose to view dating in a positive light and approach each new date with an optimistic mindset and a clean slate, you're more likely to have a better overall experience on the date as well as a better outcome.

2. You're Putting Too Much Pressure on Yourself 

An additional reason why you should stop saying that dating sucks is that this statement is causing you to put too much pressure on yourself and on dating in general.

Not every date is going to be magical, but if you view dating as your only ticket to happiness, the not-so-amazing dates are going to make you feel even worse and cause you more anxiety. You should stop viewing dating and finding a relationship as your only chances of being happy in the future since this simply isn't true.

When you refrain from putting all of this unnecessary pressure on dating and take a more lighthearted approach, the process of meeting someone who may end up capturing your heart will be less painful and less stressful. 

3. You're Becoming a "Negative Nancy"

When you insist on saying that dating sucks, your negativity may actually end up driving others in your life away from you. Would you want to spend time with someone who complains all the time? No! Your friends or coworkers may start to pull away, claim they're too busy, or no longer reach out to you because your conversations always end up focusing on the perils of dating. You may also find that having this negative attitude about dating can influence your perception of other aspects of your life and cause you to feel as though everything's going wrong—when it's not. 

4. You May End Up Hurting Your Self-Esteem 

When you take the approach that dating sucks, this type of statement can easily turn into you blaming yourself for every bad dating experience. And rather than viewing your less-than-ideal dates as simply a reality of dating, as not every date is going to be amazing, you may suddenly think that you're the one causing the problem.

But not only is this self-doubting and self-loathing approach untrue, unhelpful, and unhealthy, this is also going to make the overall experience of dating that much worse when you mistakenly think that you're not worthy of finding someone truly special and that there's something wrong with you. 

5. You're Forgetting That Dating Can Be Fun

When you make the blanket statement that dating sucks, you're actually forgetting about all the ways that dating can be a rewarding and enjoyable experience. While you may have had bad dates in the past, you've likely also had some good (or great) dates where you met someone interesting, did something exciting, and felt sparks between you and your date. Rather than thinking that dating always sucks, you should start dating on your own terms by making sure that you're engaging in an activity that you enjoy on the date.

For example, if you really like to bowl, you should opt to have your first date at a bowling alley. That way, even if you don't feel a real connection with this person, you're still doing something that's fun and rewarding to you.