7 Steps for Getting Over a Breakup

Whether you just got dumped or you did the dumping, breaking up always hurts a whole lot. There's no quick fix to make the pain go away, but if you follow some key rules for getting over a breakup, things won't hurt so bad.

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Realize That It's Over

Young woman with laptop at home.
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The biggest breakup mistake you can make? Pretending that it didn't happen. You broke up for a good reason, and getting back together isn't an option. (Maybe it will be in a couple of years​ when things have changed, but not now.) Until you accept this, you can't start healing.

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Get Sad

You're allowed to give yourself a couple of days to mope around and cry. Tear up some love notes, sob to your friends, and write some poems (just don't publish anything online - you'll regret it later). Letting yourself be sad will do you better than bottling it all up. After the second day of moping, though, it's time to start snapping out of it.

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Leave Your Ex Alone

You might want to call or text your ex but resist the urge. You both need a little time apart from each other, or else you'll never stop hurting. In a couple of months, you might be ready to try out a friendship, but for now, try to avoid all contact.

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Keep Yourself Busy

The worst way to get over an ex is to sit in your room all alone. Hang out with your friends and family, play some sports, hit the gym or dig into your favorite hobbies. It'll make you feel good and get your mind off of the breakup.

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Force Yourself to Snap Out of It

After the initial loss, you won't be thinking about your ex nonstop like you used to, but you might find your thoughts trailing back to your breakup. Push those sad thoughts of your head and replace them with happy ones. There's no use dwelling on all the sad stuff forever.

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Make a Change

Breakups can be good excuses for fresh starts. Make a fun change: give yourself a makeover, get into a new hobby, join a new after-school activity or redecorate your room. It'll make you feel happy and give you a big burst of confidence.

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Let Time Go By

Time really does heal all wounds. The pain you're feeling now won't last forever, even if it feels like it will. So hang in there - it'll get easier. I promise.