The Side-by-Side Spoon Position

Image of the basic spooning sex position.

Some sex positions are cryptic like the flying lotus or the shy bear. For those, you'd probably need an instruction manual and a Twister game board just to get started! Other positions are intuitive—the names themselves tell you what you need to know. Such is the case with the spoon position. The basic spoon—like its cousin the side-by-side facing sex position—offers more of an intimate experience than its vigorous intercourse counterparts. But mellow as it may seem, this fairly basic position may become your new favorite when you find it hits your sweet spot just right.

Oh, so Romantic

Sure, doggie-style works for a one-night stand (complete with a condom, of course). But for a romantic relationship, nothing beats the side-by-side closeness of the spoon. It's a convenient way to segue from a half-awake state into a passionate, but gentle, romp in the sheets. With his arms and legs wrapped around you, there's no safer nest through which to express intimacy. Taking your time to communicate the best angle—either verbally or with a caressing guidance—only adds provocative foreplay to this snuggly activity.

Hits All the Spots

No doubt. Having your lover come in from behind can stimulate your clitoris and activate your G-spot (the highly sensitive tissue in the vagina responsible for female sexual pleasure). But the slow and steady activity of getting this position "just right" also allows time for the build-up of sexual excitement and the sensual guiding of hands. Place his hand over your clitoris and have him tickle it while he penetrates you. Or have him gently pull your upper leg open to make sure the tip of his penis is in perfect alignment with your sacred spot. Then hold on tight!

Spooning Variations

While the spooning sex position offers an equality of power to both partners, it's sometimes nice if your man starts a little lower down on the bed than you. He can use his hands and arms to spread your legs or to lift one up (to hit the G-spot, as described above). In another variation, you can curl up a bit, further exposing your bum and vagina. This lends itself to deeper penetration and a more pleasurable feel for some. In the erotic scissors position, your legs are intertwined and his torso is pulled back slightly from yours. You can turn your head in this variation to look at your lover, further accentuating arousal and also as a way to communicate, should it feel clumsy at first.


While the spooning position offers an unparalleled physical closeness and intimacy, it's not meant for those who are clumsy in bed. It can be difficult to move in the side-by-side position and coordinating your two moving bodies can be tricky. Also, this position doesn't allow you to see your partner's full face. While this is a turn-on for some—leaving the kissing for the après—others may find it less romantic than, say, missionary-style. And because this position doesn't lend itself to traction, it's hard to build rhythm or momentum. So if a little more snog is something you fancy, maybe chose another style.