Entertainment Love and Romance 5 Signs You Are Neglecting Your Marriage Share PINTEREST Email Print Bruce Ayers-Image Bank/Getty Love and Romance Relationships Sexuality Divorce Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Marni Feuerman Psychotherapist Barry University University of Florida California Southern University Marni Feuerman is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been helping couples with marital issues for more than 27 years. our editorial process Marni Feuerman Updated October 02, 2019 Taking care of your marriage is critical to it's long-term success. Highly successful marriages don't just happen. These relationships take hard work. When you neglect your relationship, you risk losing it altogether. Here are five signs that your relationship is in desperate need of some “TLC”: Infrequent intimacy Intimacy is a significant part of any romantic relationship. If you no longer enjoy intimacy with your partner, this is a sign of neglect in a relationship. Sometimes life gets busy and stressful and being intimate is the last thing you want to think about, but connecting with your partner on a physical and emotional level is very essential. Sex is something that should be enjoyed instead of a chore. If your partner has told you that he or she needs more intimacy, it is important to take that into consideration because this kind of neglect is one that can make a person feel unloved. Not asking about your spouse's day Even if your spouse's days tend to be the same every day, it is worthwhile to ask to show that you care. When you stop asking, you come off as though what mattered to your spouse while you were not around does not matter so much. Remember that you only have to hear about your spouse's while day to day life while your spouse has to live it. You should also be asking about your spouse’s interests even if they are not your own. If your spouse is a basketball fan, you might not want to watch every single game, but you can certainly ask how their favorite team is doing. Always putting the children before your marriage Having a “child-centered” marriage is a mistake. It is true that the kids require a lot of time and energy, but your relationship with your spouse should still be a priority. Your life cannot center around your kid’s lives while your spouse is left ignored. Make sure that you continue to have date nights and quality time with your partner at home. These moments where you can connect without the children being the center of attention will help to keep your relationship strong. Neglecting yourself If you are not taking care of yourself, it is hard to take care of anyone else either. If you have stopped caring about your appearance, how you dress, and even how you act, this can negatively impact your relationship. The chances are that when you tried hard to be your best self, your relationship benefited from it. It is easy for a spouse to think you have given up on your relationship if you have given up on yourself. Have your hair done, put on a nice outfit, and practice being patient and kind again. You are stuck in a rut Everything is routine. There is no attempt at newness or novelty. You do not suggest new date ideas or ever surprise your spouse. You probably did this all the time early in your marriage and while dating, but, now a sort of laziness has set in. Desire in long-term relationships often thrives off of such novelty. This definitely does not have to be all the time, just on occasion just to add spark and excitement. Failing to appreciate your spouse and marriage can lead to one or both partners feeling unwanted and possibly unloved. This also puts you at high risk of divorce and both physical and emotional affairs. If you think you might be guilty of not prioritizing your relationship, you can without a doubt take even small steps to change this and get on track again.