5 Signs You Are Jealous of Your Friend

Is Jealousy Hurting Your Friendship?

Jealous of a friend.
What to do when you're jealous of a friend?. Tyler Edwards/Getty Images

No one likes to admit that they are jealous, especially when it comes to our friends. We're supposed to be happy for them when things are good, right? 

But sometimes those negative feelings of jealous get the best of us. Before you ruin over your friendship over it, identify why you're jealous and this will help you move past it. These five signs can you identify feelings of jealousy early on, so you can do something about them.

You’re Not Happy at Their Good News

When a friend finally accomplishes a goal or experiences something great in their life you should feel happy for them as their friend. If you don't, you need to ask yourself why.

Very often the hardest thing to deal with is timing. When your friend gets something before you do, it's difficult to accept their good luck when you're questioning your own fortune or ability to achieve a goal. This realization can come out through in the form of jealousy.

You Try to Diminish Your Friends Accomplishments

Sometimes jealousy will come through as denial, and as a result you’ll try and downplay your friend's success. In other times, you might try to knock them down a peg or two by telling them their achievements aren't as big as they think they are. Either way, you’re not acting supportive and need to examine your motives.

You Avoid Your Friend

Whether on Facebook or in person, you’ll go out of your way to avoid talking to your friend.

You’ll dread the thought of listening to their positive stories so you’ll fail to return calls and emails.

Ignoring a friend so you don't have to listen to them talk about the good things going on with them is a rotten thing to do to a friend, and definitely signifies an element of jealousy. (Here are three more rotten things we sometimes do to friends.)

You're More Clingy With Your Friend

The opposite of avoidance in friendship is clinginess, but both can originate from the same jealous feelings. In this instance, instead of running from a friend, you're afraid to leave their side. This type of behavior happens when someone makes new friends, and you're afraid they will leave your friendship in favor of another one. You might become clingy out of fear.

Another time this can occur is when you're so jealous you're looking for gossip to spread to someone else, so you hang out more with your friend just so you can have more to trash talk about later on.

You Feel the Need to Compete With Your Friend

You know you’re feeling jealous when you run right out to beat your friend's record or top their achievement. Perhaps you think that by doing more than your friend is doing, you'll eliminate your feelings of jealousy. Sometimes friends do compete with each other, and this competition can be healthy and allow both of you to push yourselves farther than you ever had before. It's when you want to compete as a way to deal with jealous feelings that this behavior can be bad.

A better approach is to figure out why you're jealous of your friend and work on that instead.

Sure, you can still work toward your own goals, but don't be a bad friend in the process. After all, don't you want your friends to support you when you have happy news?