4 Ways to Tell That Someone Doesn't Want to Be Your Friend

annoyed woman looking at another smiling woman
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Starting up a new friendship often means that you must go above and beyond in making an effort, especially in the beginning stages. Eventually, your friend will reciprocate and you’ll have a balanced relationship. But what if your acquaintance doesn’t ever return the same interest that you have in making your friendship a go? 

Most people will not just come right out and tell you they don’t want to be friends.

If they did, it would be considered rude. What they’ll do instead is avoid you or act polite but never try to set up times to get together.

There are plenty of reasons why someone doesn’t want to be friends with you. They might have enough friends already and can’t fit anymore in their life. They might not like you for whatever reason. Or perhaps they just think the two of you would not have anything in common.

Signs They're Not Interested in Being Your Friend

Here are some signs that will show you someone doesn't really want to be friends with you.

They're Polite But Keep Their Distance.

It’s rare that someone will be so rude that they’ll come right out and say they aren’t interested in being friends. What they’ll do instead is be polite but won't attempt to draw you closer to them with things like deeper conversation or one-on-one lunches where you two could really bond.

They Don’t Get Enthusiastic About the Things You Have in Common.

When you do try and get to know this person, you might find out you really do have some things in common. But while you feel happy at this prospect, your acquaintance will react blandly towards it. They don’t care if you have anything in common because they aren’t interested in sharing their hobbies or favorite things with you.

They Do Not Return Your Calls or Emails on a Timely Basis (or at All).

If you’ve been on a mission to make friends, you’re used to making the first move. You’re probably the one calling first and making suggestions for friendship dates. So it might take you awhile to realize that your acquaintance isn’t exactly returning your calls and emails very quickly. Perhaps they’re not responding at all. Either they’re too busy to be bothered, or they aren’t interested in being your friend.

They Are Hard to Pin Down When You Suggest a Get-Together.

In the interest of social etiquette, most people will never tell you that they aren’t interested in a friendship with you. So when you make suggestions about getting together, they’ll be evasive or tell you they’ll get back to you and then never follow through.

While it’s easy to get upset when someone acts this way, we can’t help it if someone is not interested in being our friend. Most of the things mentioned here are what people do to help from hurting your feelings about not wanting to be friends.