8 Signs He’s a Player

Signs of a player.
 Emilija Manevska/Moment/Getty Images

Are you wondering if you’re dating a player? While you may really like this guy, are looking for a serious commitment, and can see a future with him, it’s important to be able to recognize if he’s actually a player. He may seem like the perfect guy, but there are eight key signs that can help let you know if you’re on the path toward happiness or if you’re getting played instead.  

1. He’s Constantly on His Phone

One of the clear signs that you’re dating a player is that he’s always texting other people.

For instance, if you notice that he’s always on his phone, smiling, giggling, and sending photos, this can help let you know that you’re not the only person he’s communicating with and that you’re not the only person on his mind. When you can’t seem to capture his attention when you’re together, this is a key indicator that he’s playing the field.

2. He Won’t Make Long-Term Plans

Another top sign that he’s a player is that he won’t talk about your future together. While you may want to start planning trips as a couple and like to talk about your future hopes, dreams, and goals, he’s tentative to commit to anything far in advance. For instance, he may turn down a request to accompany you to a cousin’s wedding in a few weeks or won’t give you a clear answer about spending the holidays together because he doesn’t want to be tied down in any way.

3. He Breaks Plans Last Minute

Speaking of not being tied down, an additional sign that he’s a player is that he’s unreliable.

While you may have plans to meet for brunch, see a movie, or hit up a farmers market, he constantly changes plans with you, leaves you hanging, and cancels last minute. When you’re dating someone who you can’t count on, you can count on the fact that you’re getting played.

4. He’s Vague About His Whereabouts

Another key indicator that you’re dating a player is that he tends to stay on the vague side regarding his daily occurrences when you’re not around.

For instance, he may generalize about his job, keep things ambiguous regarding his weekend plans, or keep your conversations on a superficial level. If you’re dating someone who never seems to give you a straight answer and leaves you guessing and wondering, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s probably playing you.

5. He Won’t Introduce You to His Friends

When it comes to being vague, a clear sign that you’re with a player is that you haven’t met people who are close to him. For instance, if you’ve never met any of his friends and yet he’s met yours, this should raise a red flag that something’s a bit off. In order to get to know someone and establish a connection, it’s important that both of you take steps to include each other in your respective worlds. However, if he’s unwilling to include you in this aspect of his life, this is typically the sign of a player, as it shows that you’re just not that important to him.

6. He’s a Flirt

An additional sign that he’s a player is that he’s a big flirt. For instance, while he may flirt with you, he tends to flirt with the hostess, the waitress, or the barista when you’re out together. You may also notice him checking out others even when you’re with each other.

If he seems to have a wandering eye, this can be a key indicator that he’s playing you.

7. His Needs Come First

If you’re wondering if you’re dating a player, another top sign is that his needs come before yours. For example, whether he’s selecting a restaurant, a time to hang out, or a place to meet up, it’ll always be on his terms and satisfy his needs. However, when you’re in a relationship where there’s mutual respect, trust, and compassion, you make each other a real priority rather than placing the focus on yourself.

8. He’s Eager to Be Sexually Intimate with You

Another top sign that you’re dating a player is that he’s constantly trying to get you into bed. But in a loving, happy, and healthy relationship, you should never feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do, even if it’s kissing on a first date.

No one should ever pressure you or feel the need to convince you to do something you’re not comfortable with, and if he behaves in this inappropriate way, he’s not only a player, but a loser.