Sexual Fantasy Ideas

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If you turn to popular media to understand what sexual fantasies are, the image you'll be left with is a pretty limited one.  A scene from a romance novel, another scene with some leather and a whip, maybe someone dressed as a bunny rabbit or superhero. 

In practice these might be wonderful fantasies, but it's rare to see our sexual fantasies reflected back at us in anything other than a cliche or charicature of desire.


If you're interested in exploring sexual fantasy role play the place to start is by distinguishing fantasies that you have in your mind that you'd never want to act out from those which you do. Role play is about the things you want to try. 

Coming up with sexual fantasy ideas isn’t easy for everyone. Just as some of us are more creative with writing, or music, or cooking, so it is with sexual fantasy ideas.

Developing sexual fantasy ideas can be particularly difficult if you’re like most people and were raised with more or less negative messages about sex, about your body, and about your right to sexual pleasure and the legitimacy of your own sexual desires. In the face of such adversity some of us are able to achieve sexual fantasy greatness, but many of us struggle with feeling okay about our desires, and as a result come up dry in the area of sexual fantasy ideas. The good news is that everyone can have sexual fantasies, its just that some of us need a little more inspiration than others.

If you’re looking for some quick tips, you can check out these sexual fantasy tips and techniques .

You can also check out lists of top sexual fantasies to get an idea of what the most common sex fantasies are like. But in the end, your sexual fantasy ideas have to come from you, not something you see in the movies or read about in a book (or on a website!).

Almost all sexual fantasies fall into one of three general categories:

  • sexual fantasies about the kind of sex you usually have, but with previous, imaginary, or celebrity partners
  • sexual fantasies involving submission and/or dominance
  • sexual fantasies involving unconventional sexual practices or settings

Think about your sexual fantasies as a creative reflection of yourself. You can also think about sexual fantasy ideas as a way of telling a story, one with a beginning middle, and end.

If you’re looking for a more extensive guide to sexual fantasy I highly recommend Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy. Blue writes in an engaging and inviting way and has so many great ideas for incorporating all sorts of sexual fantasies into your sex life.