Reasons You Got Excluded

Ten Explanations for Why Your Friends Didn't Invite You

Summer Dinner Party
Friends enjoying a dinner get together. Jim Arbogast/Getty Images

Getting excluded from an outing with your friends can be a real bummer, but it doesn't always mean that something is wrong. There could be any number of reasons why you weren't asked along to whatever they happened to be doing. Here are ten possible reasons why your friends left you behind this time.

You Take Too Long to Decide on Plans

Maybe you wait until the last minute to decide whether or not you want to go somewhere, and for a particular outing your friends just needed to go ahead and make plans.

Being spontaneous is nice, but if it holds up the other people in your group, your friends may just skip you next time.

You Don't Get Along With Everyone

If you've made it clear you don't like someone that hangs out with your group (even occasionally), your friends may just not invite you to avoid any kind of drama. Maybe you think you've been subtle in your dislike of someone, but if there's any chance at all of snarky comments, dramatic scenes, or arguments, your friends will try their best to just leave you off the guest list so they can have a smooth night.

Your Friend Is Mad at You

Even if you haven't had a big blow up, if your friend is irritated with you he or she might opt to leave you off an invite list. Perhaps if they see you they'll want to start a heavy discussion, and as a result they'd prefer to wait until a more appropriate time.

Or maybe they are angry with you but they aren't sure how to approach you with it yet.

If that's the case, they might exclude you from events.

Your Friendship Isn't on the Best of Terms

Maybe you and a friend aren't necessarily arguing, but you aren't on great terms, either. This can happen when you've had a rough time of things and have argued a lot in the past. Your friendship will stay in a fragile state for a while and until it's stronger your friend may exclude you from certain events.

There Just Weren't Enough Invitations

Let's face it, not everyone can get invited to everything. Maybe space or budget was limited, and as a result you didn't make the cut. This can feel very personal if you're the one excluded, but give your friends a break here. They probably feel awful that they can't invite you and wish they were able to have you come along.

This type of thing happens a lot with weddings, where budget is limited and certain friends are invited while others might not be.

Your Friends Just Didn't Think You'd Want to Go

Call it an honest mistake, but sometimes our friends just assume things about us. If they think we'll be bored or uninterested in whatever they happen to be doing, they'll invite people they know for sure will have fun.

Your Friend Is Trying to Get to Know Other Friends a Little Bit Better

When people that know each other well get together, there is a shorthand in terms of communication, and as a result new people won't feel as comfortable joining in. In a larger group, it's harder for new people to get to know each other.

So perhaps some new folks have entered the scene and your friend just wants to get to know them a little better, away from the hustle and bustle of your regular group.

If that's the case, you might not get invited to a dinner or event.

You Don't Invite Them to Things

If you're looking for invites, you've got to reciprocate. You can't get upset with friends that exclude you when you don't ask them to do things, either. (You know that old saying that in order to have friends you first have to be one.)

It Was a Last Minute Decision

Sometimes a plan will come together at the very last minute with just the people around at a certain time. It's isn't meant to be hurtful or intentional, but you may get left out just because you weren't there. Don't hold it against your friends if this should happen.

You Make It All About You

Perhaps you've been selfish when it comes to getting together with friends.

Maybe you insist on going only to certain places, choosing things to do that are on your side of town only, or press for activities that you like but no one else does.

If you put your own needs ahead of the group's, your friends may opt to leave you out next time. You might not think you've been selfish, but perhaps your personality has overpowered your friends and they haven't had the heart to tell you the truth, so they exclude you instead.