8 Reasons Some Men Cheat

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Men cheat on their wives for many different reasons. Below is a list I’ve come up with that will help explain, to some extent why men cheat.

1. They are addicted to sex. Sexual addiction is about people who engage in sexual behaviors that are damaging them and/or their families. These are hypersexual men who aren't satisfied with one sexual partner. They use sex as a coping mechanism for anxiety, depression and other life problems.

It only makes sense that a hypersexual person would be likely to go outside the marriage for sex. 

2. Low self-esteem and the need of attention from other women. Men who need to be stroked emotionally and physically (no pun intended) due to low self-esteem are likely to seek sex outside a committed relationship because they are a bottomless pit of need. No girlfriend or wife can be expected to keep up with the need these men have to be reassured of their worth. 

3. Some men cheat for the sake of cheating. It is a game to them and one they figure they might as well play as long as they can get away with it. This man has no concern for the pain his cheating will cause if he is caught. The thrill of cheating trumps that negative consequences of possibly being found out. This guy is a plain and simple jerk!

4. Some men need to feel that “in love” feeling. Once the marriage becomes comfortable they go looking for the excitement of new love and lust.

5. They grew up watching their fathers cheat and have an ingrained belief that cheating is just something men do. You can also expect this man to have very little respect for women in general. Not only are they cheaters, these men are abusers, inconsiderate in relationships and down right, narcissists.


6. They cheat when their marriages are in trouble. If they aren’t getting what they want and need from their wife they find someone to take over her role. Cheating is so much easier than dealing with the problems in their marriages but that is no excuse!

7. Some men cheat to punish their wives. What better way to hurt someone who has hurt you than to replace them intimately? This is a passive aggressive maneuver, one used by a weak man without the fortitude to confront and solve problems in the relationship. 

8. Believe it or not, some men cheat accidentally. They don’t go out looking for an affair but get caught up in the moment and before they know it they are in over their heads. Or, between the sheets and within a face-saving exit. He didn't mean to do it, really, he didn't!

I’m sure the list of reasons men cheat is as long as my arm. The only way to know why a man has cheated is to get into his mind and that is impossible. Many men, more than likely, do not understand their own motives for cheating. Whatever the reason the consequences of an affair are always negative and the harm it does to a marriage can be irreparable.

If your husband has cheated it is my opinion that the reason "why" is not important.

Trying to rationalize and understand "why" won't lessen the pain of his affair and will keep you stuck in your own pain and confusion. Know this, whatever his reason for cheating you are not responsible. His bad behavior is about him, not about something you did or didn't do to or for him. Your main concern once you find out about the affair is to determine whether or not your marriage can survive the infidelity.

At times, my readers provide me with great insight into human behavior. If you are a man who has cheated and feel my list lacking, drop me an email. Especially if you can provide more reasons to add to my list.