Entertainment Love and Romance 4 Reasons Alcohol May Cause Infidelity Share PINTEREST Email Print Hulton Archive/Bert Hardy/Getty Images Love and Romance Divorce Relationships Sexuality Teens LGBTQ Friendship By Cathy Meyer University of Florida Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms.com. As a divorce mediator, she provides clients with strategies and resources that enable them to power through a time of adversity. our editorial process Facebook Facebook Twitter Twitter Cathy Meyer Updated July 14, 2017 Are you living with an alcoholic who has committed adultery? If so, listen up. According to Dr. Willard F. Harley of Marriage Builders, "Alcohol addiction is a clear example of what I call a Love Buster because it causes so much suffering in marriage. Besides being physically and emotionally harmful to alcoholics themselves, addiction is also harmful to those whose lives touch them. Addiction makes people insensitive to the feelings of those who care most for them, and they will stop at nothing to feed their addiction. I am witness to many people whose lives have been ruined because they married alcoholics. "Alcoholics commonly engage in their most painful habits while under the influence. Acts of infidelity are common. The fact that he or she is drunk at the time is no consolation to a grief-stricken spouse." 5 Reasons Alcohol May Cause Infidelity 1. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. Someone who may not think of cheating while sober, may see no problem with it while drunk. 2. Alcohol impairs judgement. Someone under the influence of alcohol can make decisions on a whim or, not based on their normal moral beliefs. 3. Alcohol reduces anxiety. If the only thing that keeps someone from cheating is being caught cheating, alcohol can greatly reduce the fear of being caught. The drinker can take on a false sense of security. 4. Alcohol can bring to the surface, repressed emotions. If someone is in an unhappy marriage those emotions may come to the surface while drunk, leading them to look for comfort in someone other than their spouse. 5. Alcohol changes people. Alcohol can turn a mild-mannered man into a belligerent jerk. It can also turn a man who would never consider cheating into a cheating slime. Grace and James have been married for nearly 30 years. During that time, James has cheated on Grace on numerous occasions. But, only when he was drunk. For that reason, Grace forgives his infidelity, as she puts it, "if it weren't for the alcohol he wouldn't do that." The problem is, alcohol is not an excuse for cheating. It is no reason to forgive cheating or stay with someone who repeatedly gets drunk and cheats. Grace has two problems, a husband who is an alcoholic and a husband who is a cheater. Until she discontinues enabling her husband's unacceptable behaviors she will continue to have two problems. Neither problem is excusable! People married to alcoholics may also suffer physical and emotional abuse at the hands of the alcoholic. I urge you to seek support if you are living with an alcoholic. A good place to start is Alanon. Find a meeting in your area or one online to help you overcome any co-dependent tendencies you have and start dealing with your situation in a pro-active manner.