Are You in a Healthy Relationship? (Quiz)

1. How do you decide on your nightly plans?

We both decide together in a fair way.
It’s based on who wants to do something more.
I decide what we do.
My partner decides what we do.

2. My partner tells me what to wear:

Never.
Rarely.
Sometimes.
Always.

3. If my partner doesn’t like one of my friends:

It doesn’t matter.
My partner sees this friend as little as possible.
My partner refuses to see this friend.
My partner forbids me from seeing this friend.

4. Is honesty an important part of your relationship?

Yes, we are open and forthright with each other.
I do my best to be honest, but not all of the time.
I tell my partner what he or she wants to hear.
We aren’t open with each other. What he or she doesn’t know won’t hurt him or her.

5. My partner has been physically and/or emotionally abusive with me:

Never on both counts.
Sometimes our arguments can get heated, but they’re never physical.
Once he or she was physically abusive toward me, but he or she profusely apologized afterwards.
He or she is repeatedly physically and emotionally abusive.

6. I facilitate my partner’s detrimental behaviors, such as abusing drugs or alcohol:

Never. I won’t stand for that.
I drop hints for him or her to seek help, but sometimes I turn a blind eye.
I sometimes facilitate in order to appease him or her.
I frequently facilitate—I’m a classic enabler.

7. My happiness levels depend upon:

What’s happening in my life overall.
What’s happening in my life, but especially in my relationship.
Solely what’s happening in my relationship.
Solely what’s happening in my partner’s life.

8. When I’m with my partner, I feel:

Elated and excited.
Comfortable and content.
Blasé and bored.
Aggravated and annoyed.

9. When I think about our future together, I feel:

Confident.
Hopeful.
Indifferent.
Stuck.

10. My partner makes me feel special:

Every day.
Every now and then.
Once in a great while.
I don’t remember the last time.

Quiz: Are You in a Healthy Relationship?

You got: Yes... Very Healthy!

Congratulations! You’re in a very healthy relationship, and you should feel excited about the future. It’s clear that both and your partner treat each other with respect and compassion, and you make each other stronger. Plus, your ability to be open and honest with each other is another sign of a healthy relationship. In fact, your connection with your partner is that much more significant because you are able to be your authentic selves when you’re together. There’s no faking, no role-playing, and no enabling—your connection is rooted in trust.

Going forward, it’s imperative that you continue to keep lines of communication open and that you let your partner in even more. Remember, he or she wants to be there for you as a sounding board and support system, and you shouldn’t be afraid to reciprocate when your partner is the one who needs guidance, or perhaps a shoulder to cry on. When you and your partner treat each other as equals, you are in a truly healthy relationship.

Quiz: Are You in a Healthy Relationship?

You got: Mostly Healthy

There are many indicators that you’re in a healthy relationship, and the good news is that there are even more ways for you to create a healthier connection with your partner. Fortunately, you have put in place the proper groundwork on which your relationship can grow and thrive. Namely, feeling hopeful about the future, enjoying your time with your partner and having control over your own life are important components of a healthy relationship.

There are certain changes that you can make to take the health of your relationship to new heights. First, you should try to be as forthright with your partner as possible. Even if it’s hard for you to feel vulnerable, challenge yourself to open up more, and don’t be afraid to let your partner in. Next, make sure that you continue to push the envelope in other parts of your life. Your connection with your partner will be healthier when your outlook is shaped by your life as a whole and not solely by what’s happening in your relationship.

Quiz: Are You in a Healthy Relationship?

You got: Needs Work

There are many signs that you’re in an unhealthy and potentially harmful relationship. In addition to your partner’s attempts to try and control you, engage in destructive behaviors around you as well as his or her inability to be forthright, your feelings of apathy, indifference and hopelessness about your future together are also clear markers of an unhealthy relationship. Further, if your partner was abusive toward you, even if it was only once, there’s a greater chance that this will continue in the future. In fact, the best predictor of future behavior is the behavior that he or she has exhibited in the past. In a word, even if happened only once, it may happen again.

Now that you’re more aware of the signs that your relationship is not a healthy one, you should seriously consider ending it. The future doesn’t have to be bleak and dreary. Your overall worth doesn't t have to be undermined. You have the power to change your current circumstances and live the life you deserve.

Quiz: Are You in a Healthy Relationship?

You got: Not Healthy

Unfortunately, you are in an unhealthy and potentially dangerous relationship, and it’s time for you to end it. It’s not surprising that you may feel stuck and hopeless, as your “partner” is clearly trying to control you and undermine your self-worth. (He or she isn’t really a partner at all.) To that end, if this person has physically or emotionally abused you or if you find yourself placating his or her destructive behaviors, it’s time to get out of this relationship. If you need help cutting the cord, there are certain hotlines, trained professionals as well as local authorities who can assist you, as well as friends and family. You’re not alone.

While your partner may have tried to diminish your feelings and make you feel small, he or she didn’t succeed. You’re a resilient individual who brings value to the lives of those around you. You don’t need a negative person like your partner in your life. You have the power to break up, break free and live the happy life that you deserve.