My Lover's Wife Is OK With Our Affair

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Updated July 14, 2017

Dear Mona,

I have fallen hopelessly in love with another man. His wife knows and has been supportive since the initial shock. In fact, she's suspected his orientation for quite a while. She also really likes me because I am a decent guy with a good job and very responsible―a good boyfriend I suppose...

I suspect that this guy loves me too, but he is a typical "manly-man" and has trouble talking about his feelings with anyone. The wife has become kind of a confidante and she says her marriage is more like "best friends with benefits."

What is happening here? I am head over heels in love with this guy, and his wife seems to want to push us together. She also stated that she's had some same-sex experiences of her own. She has actually been quite nice about this, but I think she is a little bit jealous and insecure.

What should I do here? They say they don't want me to walk away, but I get such mixed signals. My heart is breaking and I don't know how to make myself feel better and fit in. I want to be this man's friend as well, and it seems to be a bit difficult for me to find the words to tell him how much I care for him... I don't want to break up a marriage, but I would sure like to be closer to this guy. Do you think it is possible?

-Jack

Joe Kort

Mona