Mike Pence Jokes

Late-Night Jokes About Vice President Mike Pence


See Also:
Best Donald Trump Jokes

Funniest Trump Inauguration Memes
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Funniest Memes Mocking Trump

"Vice President Mike Pence today cast the tie-breaking vote to confirm controversial education secretary nominee Betsy DeVos. And if you don’t know what that means, you’re probably Betsy DeVos." –Jimmy Fallon

"Rolling Stone just did a big profile on Vice President Mike Pence, and revealed that Pence grew up with a cornfield in his backyard. I guess at times, he even heard a voice coming from it that said, 'If you build it ... Mexico won't pay for it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Trump was seen wearing a hat that says '45' on the side, signifying that he will be the 45th president. Or the total number of days before he quits being president. He's like, 'It's been fun — it's been a fun month and a half. You take it from here, Pence.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Vice President-elect Mike Pence attended the New York Jets game at MetLife Stadium, where the Jets lost 41-10. Pence heard so much booing, he thought he was seeing 'Hamilton' again." –Jimmy Fallon

"When asked this afternoon if he reads The New York Times, Donald Trump told reporters, quote, 'I do read it. Unfortunately. I'd live about 20 years longer if I didn't.' 'Got your paper, sir!' said Mike Pence." –Seth Meyers

"Vice President-elect Mike Pence went to see 'Hamilton' over the weekend, and was booed by people in the audience when he entered the theater. And if the crowd wasn't mad enough already, Pence waited until a quiet scene to open up a bag of Skittles. –Jimmy Fallon

"Mike Pence got a rude greeting when he attended the musical 'Hamilton' over the weekend. He was booed going to his seat and the cast addressed him directly at the end of the show. And this looks bad for Pence. I mean when the theater kid picks on you, you know you truly are the least popular kid in school." –James Corden

"After the cast of Broadway's 'Hamilton' addressed Vice President-elect Mike Pence following a show this weekend, Donald Trump demanded they apologize and tweeted, 'The Theater must always be a safe and special place.' To which Muslims replied, 'Two tickets to the theater, please!'" –Seth Meyers

"Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, 'I'm eager to discuss the issues facing our nation.' While Biden said, 'If you tell the waiter it's your birthday, you get a free piece of cake.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Vice president-elect Mike Pence was seen today using a selfie stick while posing with a group of House Republicans. Of course, right after using the selfie stick, Pence had to go to confession." –Seth Meyers

"Yesterday Donald Trump and Mike Pence reportedly received their first presidential daily briefing of sensitive national intelligence. Or as Trump asked Putin, 'Do you prefer email or fax?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together this afternoon. And just to [tick] him off, Biden told the waiter it was their anniversary." –Seth Meyers

"Vice President Joe Biden got together with incoming Vice President Mike Pence. Biden went over the primary responsibilities of being vice president, which are: not falling asleep at the State of the Union address . . . and that's about it. So they covered that." –Jimmy Kimmel

"In an interview last night with MSNBC, Donald Trump's running mate Mike Pence accidentally referred to Trump as his opponent. Which is ridiculous — everyone knows Trump is his own opponent." –Seth Meyers

"Donald Trump's running mate, Mike Pence, threw a baseball to reporters today with a note saying that he's rooting for the Cubs. And then the reporters turned the ball over and the other side said, 'Help!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"After hearing Donald Trump's lewd comments about women, vice presidential nominee Mike Pence canceled a campaign event in New Jersey today. Even worse, he forgot to tell Chris Christie." –Seth Meyers

"Tonight is the debate between vice-presidential candidates Tim Kaine and Mike Pence. They're going to debate the economy, foreign policy, and which one of them is Tim Kaine and which one is Mike Pence." –Conan O'Brien

"Mike Pence and Tim Kaine will face-off tomorrow night in the only vice presidential debate of the election. The vice presidential debate is brought to you by white out." –Seth Meyers

"Tonight is the debate between vice-presidential candidates Tim Kaine and Mike Pence. They're going to debate the economy, foreign policy, and which one of them is Tim Kaine and which one is Mike Pence." –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump's running mate Mike Pence said that his role model for the vice presidency is Dick Cheney. To prove it, this weekend Pence had six heart attacks and shot his friend in the face." –Conan O'Brien

"Republican vice presidential nominee Mike Pence broke with his running mate yesterday, saying that unlike Donald Trump, he does not doubt that President Obama was born in Hawaii. Though interestingly, Pence refused to respond when asked if it was true that he was born in Lego Land." –Seth Meyers

"Meanwhile, Donald Trump's running mate Mike Pence gave a speech at the convention last night and even poked fun at the fact most people don't know who he is. I guess even Donald Trump calls him 'Vice President Hey Buddy.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Traditionally the third night of the convention is supposed to be all about the VP pick and everyone was saying that the Ted Cruz fiasco overshadowed Trump's VP Mike Pence. Even Trump doesn't seem to like him that much. There was an awkward moment between them at the end of Pence's speech [shows video of air-kiss]. They greeted each other the way you greet your girlfriend's mom the first time. You're like, 'Are we going to — do we — we just kiss on the lips — muah — just kiss on the lips.'" –James Corden

"I really like Trump and Pence's chemistry. You can tell these guys have been friends since all the way back on July 18th of 2016." –James Corden

"Following Mike Pence's speech last night, Donald Trump joined his running mate on stage and appeared to make an air-kiss gesture to him, and Pence tried to send Trump to a gay re-education camp." –Seth Meyers

"Last night, Trump and Mike Pence actually sat down for a joint interview on '60 Minutes.' And Pence said that if he has differences with Donald Trump, he would, quote, 'walk into the president's office, close the door, and share my heart.' Even the guys on 'The Bachelorette' were like, 'GROSS!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Apparently Trump was unsure about the guy he was choosing for vice president all the way down to the wire. They say he wanted to dump Gov. Mike Pence at midnight the night before the announcement — which would have made him a Pence dispenser." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Last night Trump and Pence gave their first joint interview on '60 Minutes' — of course, the same amount of time Trump spent learning about Mike Pence before choosing him." –Stephen Colbert

"Donald Trump is expected to officially announce his running mate at an event tomorrow and all week reports said it was down to three finalists: Mike Pence, Chris Christie, or those two candidates combined, Newt Gingrich." –Jimmy Fallon

"CBS News has learned that Donald Trump has chosen Indiana Gov. Mike Pence. Now, it turns out when the story that Trump picked him was being reported, Trump hadn't called Mike Pence yet. So Mike, if you are watching, 'Surprise!'" –Stephen Colbert

More Trump Administration Jokes

"Steve Bannon is Donald Trump’s senior strategist. A lot of people are saying that he’s the guy really running the White House, but I’m not sure I believe that, because there’s no proof that anyone’s running the White House right now." –Stephen Colbert

"There are reports that Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway actually punched a guy while trying to break up a fight at Trump's inaugural ball. Though she says it wasn't a punch, it was an 'alternative high-five.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Today, the Senate officially confirmed Betsy DeVos as education secretary, with a vote of 51 to 50. Or as Trump calls that, 'a landslide.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The Senate confirmed Education Secretary Betsy DeVos. Now, there are 100 senators. She got the votes of only half of them. So her first act is to make 50 count as a passing grade." –Stephen Colbert

"DeVos, our secretary of education, has never attended, worked in, or sent her kids to public school. So how did she get the nomination? Well, there’s a tiny chance that money played a role, since DeVos’ family gave around $200 million to Republican causes, including donations to four senators on the committee overseeing her confirmation. Oooh, that reminds me of a math problem! 'Betsy has $200 million. She needs 50 votes. How much money can she give to each senator to make sure public schools get less?'" –Stephen Colbert

"President Trump got his first approval rating numbers and they aren't good. His approval rating stands at 45 percent, which is the lowest in history for a new president. Or as his press secretary Sean Spicer put it today, 'The highest in history for a new president.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

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