Larry Craig Jokes

Late-Night Jokes about Sen. Larry Craig's Bathroom Sex Scandal

Larry "Wide Stance" Craig
Larry "Wide Stance" Craig.

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"Ladies and gentlemen, here is great news. Senator Larry Craig from Idaho ... is looking for interns. What parent doesn't want to hear, 'Well guess what, Dad, I got accepted into Larry Craig's intern program'? But if you're interested, Larry Craig is now accepting applications from interns. Just slide your resume under the stall." --David Letterman

"Senator Larry Craig, who by the way, he's still around. Senator Larry Craig has announced that he's accepting applications for a summer internship. That's true. Applicants should be comfortable with Word, Excel, and gay sex in the men's room" --Conan O'Brien

"You all know Senator Larry Craig, America's favorite restroom enthusiast, we call him. He announced he is taking applications for summer interns to work in his office. ... Isn't that unbelievable? Would you want that on your resume? 'I served under Larry Craig.' All interviews will be conducted in stall number three." --Jay Leno

"Everyone's favorite Idaho senator who did not have gay sex in a public bathroom, Larry Craig, is back in the news. You may remember, he pleaded guilty to public indecency for playing footsie with an undercover cop in the men's room in the Minneapolis airport. Well, not long after that, he decided he was not playing footsie and asked the judge if he could withdraw his guilty plea. Well, the judge today said 'no.' For some reason now, Senator Craig has decided not to resign. ... His fellow Republicans are not happy. They want him out of there. A lot of them stopped talking to him. Some of them have stopped having sex with him." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Senator Craig defiantly vowed today to serve out his term. And when Larry Craig makes a vow, you know he means it. Okay, except for the marriage vow." --Jay Leno

"In fact, Republicans are so mad about him staying, they may ask Cheney to take him out back and shoot him." --Jay Leno

"The airport bathroom where Senator Larry Craig was arrested is now being renovated, and the new bathroom will have stall dividers that go all the way down to the floor. When he heard about the new stall dividers, Senator Craig said, 'It doesn't matter. Love will find a way.'" --Conan O'Brien

"This morning on Capitol Hill ... four bathroom fires broke out inside the Senate office building. Inside one bathroom, three big, burly firemen broke the door down, kicked in the stall, and Senator Craig said, 'My dreams have come true.'" --Jay Leno

"The old, toe-tapping senator from the great state of Idaho, Larry Craig ... has changed his mind and is not going to resign. You know what it is? I don't think he wants to give up the key to the executive washroom. ... You know that bathroom in the Minneapolis airport where he got caught? Well, the airport is now spending a ton of money to build new stall dividers that go all the way to the ground ... to make it a less inviting spot for sexual activity. And today, Senator Craig said, 'Minneapolis, tear down that wall!'" --Jay Leno

"The bathroom stall at the Minneapolis airport where Larry Craig was arrested has now become a tourist attraction where people go to have their pictures taken. Not only that, for $10, Larry Craig will autograph your penis." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, General Petraeus was in Washington testifying before the Senate. After the testimony, Senator Craig said, 'You may not know this, general, but right now I'm saluting you.'" --David Letterman

"Yesterday, General David Petraeus testified before the Senate for 10 hours with just two bathroom breaks. During the same period, Senator Larry Craig took 73 bathroom breaks." --Conan O'Brien

"Senator Craig from Idaho is blaming the media for his guilty plea, especially that cute guy from the Associated Press." --David Letterman

"Restroom enthusiast Senator Larry Craig said today the only reason he plead guilty to that incident in the Minneapolis airport bathroom was because he was being hounded by reporters investigating rumors that he was gay. And what better way to shoot down those rumors, really." --Jay Leno