Kim Jong-un Jokes

Funny Jokes About Kim Jong-un and North Korea

See Also: Funniest Pictures Mocking Kim Jong-Un

"Have you seen Kim Jong Un lately? There are photos of him and he has put on pounds. According to sources, Kim Jong Un has been emotionally eating since Dennis Rodman was spotted on a date with another dictator." –Jimmy Kimmel

"North Korean leader Kim Jong Un made his first public appearance yesterday in over 40 days. But since he saw his shadow, that now means 60 more years of nuclear winter." –Jimmy Fallon

"In North Korea, dictator Kim Jong Un made his first public appearance in over a month. He's put on weight and he's carrying a cane. Kim Jong Un is a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain at this point." ––Jimmy Kimmel

"North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un resurfaced yesterday after more than a month out of the public eye. U.S. officials think that the reason no one saw him for so long is that he was starring in an NBC sitcom." –Seth Meyers

"Last week North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un missed a ceremony marking the 69th anniversary of the country. Experts say it's especially strange because he knew cake would be there." –Seth Meyers

"Nobody knows where he is but the U.S. national security adviser says there is no evidence that Kim Jong Un has been overthrown. If anything, he was probably just tipped over." –Seth Meyers

"You know who they haven't seen in a while, Kim Jung Un, evil dictator of North Korea. They haven't seen him in, like, six weeks. He's probably spending more time executing his family." –David Letterman

"North Korea is now threatening the United States with all-out war. You can see they're stepping it up. In fact, they released 10 more photos of Kim Jong Un looking through binoculars." –Jay Leno

"I want Kim Jong-un to test a missle because it’s always a spectacular disaster. He’s the only Asian in the world that doesn’t test well." -Bill Maher

"Right now there are two Kims in the news. There's Kim Jong-Un, who's the leader of North Korea, and then there's Kim Kardaishian, the reality star who's having a baby with Kanye West. It can be kind of tough to keep track of who's who. Kim Kardashian's life is like a roller coaster; Kim Jong-Un isn't tall enough to ride one. Kim Kardashian's favorite movie is called Failure to Launch; Kim Jong-Un's nuclear program is called Failure to Launch." –Jimmy Fallon

'Do you believe Dennis Rodman is still talking about Kim Jong Un? It's not a good sign when the friend who's trying to explain that you're not crazy is Dennis Rodman. That's not the guy I would send out for my sanity test.' –Conan O'Brien

"Things are still very tense in North Korea. In fact, world leaders are still waiting to see if Kim Jong-un is going to actually fire a missile after this week’s deadline came and went. Apparently what happened was he messed up and bought Mentos and regular Coke. " –Jimmy Fallon

"Why do I feel like this whole thing could be solved by sending Kim Jong Un a Disneyland pass?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"Dennis Rodman visited North Korea. Rodman came back and said President Obama should call North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. But President Obama was busy discussing Iran's nuclear capabilities with Scottie Pippen." –Conan O'Brien

"The show has Dennis Rodman, our new ambassador to North Korea. Dennis is back home safely after visiting the North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. And apparently they hit it off. Rodman called him a friend for life. But he said the same thing when he married Carmen Electra." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Senator John McCain went on TV this week to call Kim Jong-Un a clown and a fool. As you know, according to John McCain, that would still make him eligible to be vice president." –Jay Leno

"To celebrate his birthday, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un sent two pounds of candy to every child in the country. Which explains why Honey Boo Boo has applied for dual citizenship." –Jimmy Fallon

"North Korea is ruled by Kim Jong Un. Over the weekend, the premier of China told Kim Jong Un to chill out. Now, when the premier of China tells you to chill out, it's like Mel Gibson saying, 'Whoa, easy on the tequila.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Kim Jong-un doesn't understand we already have an unstable peninsula that will take down America -- Florida." –Conan O'Brien

"In high school Kim Jong Un starred in a production of the musical 'Grease.' That's also where Kim met his first wife, Olivia Newton Jong." –Conan O'Brien

"North Korea said it will test a rocket that they hope will hit the United States. In other words, watch your back, middle of the Pacific Ocean." –Conan O'Brien

"Japan and South Korea are on high alert after North Korea successfully launched a long-range rocket. Both countries are surprised by North Korea's successful launch, but definitely not as surprised as North Korea." –Jimmy Fallon

"North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been awarded the highest rank in the country’s military. The decision was praised by everyone from Parliamentary leader Kim Jong Un to opposition leader Kim Jong Un." –Conan O'Brien

"Good news coming out of North Korea. You know they had Kim Jong Il and he passed away so his son Kim Jong Un is now the leader. He has a new girlfriend — Kim Jong Kardashi-un." –David Letterman

David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Un Celebrated His Birthday"

10. Enjoyed ice cream made by Kim Jong Ben and Kim Jong Jerry
9. Laid in bed, depressed, like a typical Capricorn
8. Hit Vegas with his 'crew:' Putin, Chavez, Ahmadinejad and Zach Galifianakis
7. Had Marilyn Monroe lookalike sing, 'Happy Birthday, Mr. Supreme Commander of the People's Army, brilliant comrade, and great person born of heaven'
6. After seeing how good Charles Barkley looks, joined Weight Watchers
5. Nice quiet dinner with a few close human shields
4. Caught surprise Patton Oswalt stand-up set at the Pyongyang Comedy Store
3. Watched funny videos of North Koreans crying on YouTube
2. Treated himself to a deep-tissue jowl massage
1. Executed his pastry chef for using those trick birthday candles