Humor Political Humor Funny and Witty Quotes by President John F. Kennedy Share PINTEREST Email Print Paul Schutzer / Contributor / Getty Images Political Humor Political Quotes Political Cartoons Political Jokes Political Memes Politicians By Daniel Kurtzman Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. our editorial process Daniel Kurtzman Updated April 12, 2019 John F. Kennedy, born in 1917 of the Kennedy Family, was the 35th president of the United States. He was president until 1963 when he was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. Quotes "I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.""I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy: "Dear Jack, Don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide.""Just think what my margin might have been if I had never left home at all.""Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House.""Let's not talk so much about vice. I'm against vice in any form.""Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.""You know nothing for sure...except the fact that you know nothing for sure."“I do not think it's entirely inappropriate to introduce myself to this audience. I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris, and I have enjoyed it.”"I see nothing wrong with giving Robert some legal experience as Attorney General before he goes out to practice law.""I will introduce myself. I am Ted Kennedy's brother, and I'm glad to be here tonight.""On this matter of experience, I had announced earlier this year that if successful I would not consider campaign contributions as a substitute for experience in appointing ambassadors. Even since I made that statement I have not received one single cent from my father.""Those of you who regard my profession of political life with some disdain should remember that it made it possible for me to move from being an obscure lieutenant in the United States Navy to Commander-in-chief in fourteen years with very little technical experience." "My experience in government is that when things are non-controversial, beautifully coordinated and all the rest, it must be that there is not much going on.""I know there are some Republicans and some Democrats who say that they have now developed a wonderful arrangement in Washington. The Congress is Democratic and the President is Republican and nothing happens, and isn't it wonderful?""Khrushchev reminds me of the tiger hunter who has picked a place on the wall to hang the tiger's skin long before he has caught the tiger. This tiger has other ideas.""We must use time as a tool, not as a couch.""When we (The Democrats) got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.""You don't fire God.""Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.""The day before my inauguration President Eisenhower told me, 'You'll find that no easy problems ever come to the President of the United States. If they are easy to solve, somebody else has solved them.'""Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.”“Look at that, I have a total fiasco and my poll ratings go up. What am I going to do to get them up further?"