Is It Okay to Miss My Ex After a Breakup?

Sad woman.
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It’s not uncommon to find yourself missing your ex after a breakup. And whether this person broke up with you or you were the one who initiated the separation, you may find yourself longing for him or her. In fact, even if you were together for three months or for three years, this significant other was a significant part of your life, and it’s only natural that you would have moments where you miss this person and/or the life you once shared together.

As a result, if you find yourself missing your ex post-breakup, there are six steps you can take right now to help you move on for good in every respect.

1. Stop being so hard on yourself. If you find yourself missing your ex, the first step is to stop beating yourself up over this natural reaction to a breakup. And while you may want to put on a brave face and be totally over your relationship being over, you should recognize that it’s okay to miss him or her. Since there was a time when you truly cared about this person, whether this was recently or long in the past, there’s no reason to be alarmed, upset or annoyed that he or she crosses your mind.

2. Pay attention to triggers. If you’re longing for your ex, it’s also important to pay attention to the triggers that can bring on this type of yearning. For instance, does passing by the coffee shop that you and your ex used to frequent make you frequently miss him or her?

Or does watching a show you both loved make you long for the days when he or she was next to you on the couch? Once you’re aware of the circumstances that set off these feelings of nostalgia, you’ll be better prepared to manage these emotions when these kinds of situations arise.

3. Let go of reminders. Along these lines, a key way to stop missing your ex is to make a concerted effort to put away and/or get rid of the reminders, keepsakes and mementos of your time together.

After all, if your room still looks like a shrine to your relationship, complete with photos, gifts and other knick-knacks from your time together, it’ll be hard to move on since you’re literally and figuratively living in the past. However, by doing more cleaning and cleansing of your personal space, missing your ex will happen less and less.

4. Stop stalking your ex on social media. If you’re missing your ex, another important step is to refrain from following him or her on social media. And while it can be highly enticing to look at his or her profile, photos and status updates, you’re only making it that much harder to move forward. In fact, when you keep tabs on what your ex is up to, where he or she is and/or who he or she’s with, you’re actually just keeping him or her in your life. So rather than spending your time missing him or her and following every digital move, it’s time to shift your focus so that you can move on.

5. Surround yourself with your support system. Breakups can be challenging, and if you find yourself consistently longing for your ex long after he or she’s gone, it’s particularly helpful to connect with your close network of friends and family during this time.

Not only will they be able to provide you with love, support and insight, they can also give you some perspective and guidance. Along these lines, some professional help can also be a great way to facilitate the process of moving on, especially if missing your ex has become overwhelming. Remember, you don’t have to go through a breakup alone, and even if your relationship ended months or years ago, there’s no wrong time to reach out to others when you’re in need.

6. Keep a positive attitude. When you find yourself missing your ex, this can often be due to the fact that you long for that kind of closeness and intimacy with someone. And rather than truly missing your ex as a person, you may find yourself missing the idea of him or her and having a significant other in your life. With this in mind, it’s crucial to stay positive and recognize that you’ll have this kind of close connection with someone again in the future.

And rather than missing your ex, you should focus your time and energy on putting yourself out there so that you don’t miss out on the relationship of your dreams.