Is It Okay to Lie on My Dating Profile?

Man on a date with a woman
Hero Images/Hero Images/Getty Images

It’s not surprising or uncommon to be tempted to lie on your dating profile. After all, you may be compelled to fib about your age, embellish your professional successes and/or use photos that aren’t entirely representative of what you look like in order to attract more potential love interests. And while you may think there’s no real harm in lying on your dating profile and/or that it’s not a big deal, it’s important to understand why misrepresenting yourself is actually a major mistake.

You’re painting yourself as a liar. While you may think there’s no harm in being dishonest on your profile, you’re actually just portraying yourself as a deceitful person. And whether your date can tell right off the bat that your profile was inaccurate or if you plan on telling him or her the truth later, this person will automatically be put off and turned off by your lack of honesty and integrity. Besides, if it was that easy for you to lie to someone you’re romantically interested in, this person will think that being dishonest is simply part of your personality—which is far from appealing.

You’re coming off as insecure. It may seem as though lying on your dating profile can make you more appealing and attractive to others, but it actually does just the opposite. In fact, lying about yourself can make you seem insecure and desperate. So instead of relying on lies, you should be proud of the person you are, what you look like, where you come from, your true interests and everything else that makes you special and unique.

Confidence is sexy, so rather than hiding behind lies, you should be excited about what you have to offer and be your authentic self.

You’re undercutting any chance of a future relationship with your date. When you start off a relationship based on lies, you’re actually undermining your ability to develop a long-lasting, deep and meaningful connection.

After all, openness, honesty and trust are at the very foundation of a successful relationship. And while you may think that when this person gets to know you better that he or she won’t care as much about your initial lies and/or what you lied about, you’re actually just lying to yourself. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and when your date learns that you deceived him or her, how can he or she know that anything coming out of your mouth from that moment on is genuine?

You’re tricking someone. When you’re inclined to put up falsehoods and fake facts about yourself on your dating profile, it’s important to take a moment and think about the person you’re meeting. This person is going into the date under false pretenses, and in addition to tricking him or her and/or wasting his or her time, you’re also being completely rude and cruel by knowingly deceiving this person. Besides, how would you feel if you dated someone who was deliberately lying and misrepresenting him or herself?

You’re insulting your date’s intelligence. Additionally, depending upon the content and magnitude of your embellished dating profile, you’re also implying that your date isn’t very bright.

For instance, if you write that you’re 5’10” when you’re really 5’6”, do you actually think that this person isn’t going to notice the height differential and/or remember how you presented yourself on your profile? Lying on your dating profile is a backhanded way of trying to manipulate someone while simultaneously implying that he or she isn’t even clever enough to notice. So unless you want to intentionally insult your date, leave the lies off of your profile.

You’re not setting yourself up to meet the right person. When it comes to your dating profile, presenting yourself accurately is actually the secret behind attracting the right person. After all, don’t you want to meet someone who’s interested and intrigued by the real you instead of the fake version you’re creating? So if you’re really looking to find the right person, being authentic on your profile can help you connect with others who are looking to find someone like you.