Is It Okay To Let Your Boyfriend Go To Prom With Another Girl?

Prom with another girl at a different school? Sounds fishy to me...

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Letting your boyfriend go to prom with another girl? Hm. Not cool. Jupiter Images/Getty Images

Dear Cassandra,

My boyfriend and I just started dating two months ago. We’re both juniors and our prom is coming up in a few months. We’ve already talked about going together. Then last week this girl that he was a counselor with at camp asked him if he would go to her prom, at another school. She lives about an hour away and I’ve never met her. My boyfriend said they were really good friends at camp but nothing ever happened, and that she just wants to go as friends. It sounds weird to me. Why would she ask him if she knows he has a girlfriend (he said he told her about me and she still wants him to go with her). I don’t want to sound like a psycho girlfriend but I really feel weird about him going. Is it okay to let your boyfriend go to another school's prom, even if it’s with a girl who says it's “just as friends?”

-Britt

Dear Britt,

Thanks for writing! It sounds like you have a prom dilemma on your hands.

First of all, you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel. If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone, you should be open and honest with them. Communication is so important. He has to know how you’re feeling; that way he’ll be more likely to understand why you don’t want him to go to another girl’s prom.

To me, your boyfriend going to prom with another girl would be like him going on a date with another girl. Think about it: They’re going to ride in a limo or car together, eat dinner together, dance together, and hang out together for a few hours after dark. Even if he says she’s just asking him “as a friend,” it still makes me cringe a little. Your boyfriend needs to review my "how to be a great date" for guys tips, stat. 

Basically, I wouldn’t want MY boyfriend to go on a date with another girl, for obvious reasons, so I can totally understand why you wouldn’t want your boyfriend to go to another girl’s prom.

I think you have every right to put your foot down and say no.

You said you don’t want to sound like a psycho girlfriend. Well, here’s a trick: it’s all about the delivery. If you have a really dramatic crying episode, complete with screaming, pounding fists, accusations and insults, all while telling him you don’t want him to go to prom with another girl… you’re going to sound like a psycho.

But. If you calmly explain to him that you would be uncomfortable with him going to this other prom, and give a couple reasons (you’re my boyfriend, it would be like a date, I’ve never met this girl, etc.), then you won’t come off like a psycho.

If your boyfriend is committed to being with you, then he will respect what you have to say and won’t go to the prom with her. But if your boyfriend puts up a fight and pushes back and goes to prom with her anyway, you may want to rethink the person you’re with. Does he respect you? Is he committed? Does he want to be in a relationship with you?

If he still doesn’t get it- ask him if he would be okay with YOU going to another prom with another guy he’s never met. My guess is that he will say no to that real fast.

If you want to be treated a certain way in your relationship, you have to set some boundaries. I think telling your boyfriend that you don’t want him to go on any other dates (prom or otherwise) is totally reasonable and good place to start.

Good luck!

Cassandra