When Your Boyfriend Wants to go to Another Girl's Prom

Detail of a woman pinning a corsage to a jacket lapel, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
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You have a boyfriend. Maybe you're even juniors or seniors and talking about going to your own prom together. But then he gets asked by a friend from another school to go to her prom with her. Even if she (and he) insists that she wants to go as just friends, you definitely have a prom dilemma on your hands. Is it okay to feel weird about him going?

Tell Your Boyfriend How You Feel

First of all, you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel. If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone, you should be open and honest with them. Communication is so important. He has to know how you’re feeling; that way he’ll be more likely to understand why you don’t want him to go to another girl’s prom.

It's Like a Date

To me, your boyfriend going to prom with another girl would be like him going on a date with another girl. Think about it. They’re going to ride in a limo or car together, eat dinner together, dance together, and hang out together for a few hours after dark. Even if he says she’s just asking him “as a friend,” it still makes me cringe a little. 

I can totally understand why you wouldn’t want your boyfriend to go to another girl’s prom. You have every right to put your foot down and say no.

How to Say No

If you are worried you'll sound like a psycho girlfriend but don't want him to go, here’s the trick: it’s all about the delivery. If you have a really dramatic crying episode, complete with screaming, pounding fists, accusations, and insults all while telling him you don’t want him to go to prom with another girl, you’re going to sound like a psycho. But. If you calmly explain to him that you would be uncomfortable with him going to this other prom and give a couple reasons (you’re my boyfriend, it would be like a date, I’ve never met this girl, etc.), then you won’t come off like a psycho.

If your boyfriend is committed to being with you, then he will respect what you have to say and won’t go to the prom with her. But if your boyfriend puts up a fight and pushes back and goes to prom with her anyway, you may want to rethink the person you’re with. Does he respect you? Is he committed? Does he want to be in a relationship with you?

If he still doesn’t get it, ask him if he would be okay with you going to another prom with another guy he’s never met. My guess is that he will say no to that real fast.

If you want to be treated a certain way in your relationship, you have to set some boundaries. Telling your boyfriend that you don’t want him to go on any other dates (prom or otherwise) is totally reasonable and good place to start.

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