Is He Into You Or The Friendship?

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Are you in a Bromance or a Romance? Are the mixed signals a sign that he's into you or is he just looking for friendship?

I've liked this guy for a while - let's call him Pete. At the beginning I was very uncomfortable with the idea of trying to communicate with him. I summoned up a lot of courage to do it. I tried to make a move, but his response was cold—actually, a flat-out "No!" I was crushed, but a month went by and I got over it.

 I tried hanging out with him as a friend, but he wouldn't respond to most of my texts. I just assumed he was not interested in any sort of relationship, romantic or friendly.

Eventually I moved on and started to meet other guys and hanging out with them (not too many!). None of them really wanted anything serious, and neither caught my attention that much. I kept seeing them and learned to enjoy the moments. 

Then suddenly things changed completely. Pete came back on the scene and started giving me lots of attention. I don't really know how it happened but we started to see each other every day, talk on the phone, text, and go to parties together—everything. We have endless walks along the neighbourhood, play basketball together, and go to the bar on the corner. Sometimes we found ourselves having discussions about society and about our studies, that lasted the whole night. And, our line of thought was so much in common!



At this point, I am really confused and don't know where this relationship is going. Is he just comfortable with the friendship we have, or is he looking for more? I started to see it as a very good bromance, but nothing more. It was clear after some time I was having the makings of a good friendship, in which he wanted to take the lead.

 And I found that I was really 'ok' with that. 

To all of you out there who are going through the same situation I have this advice:

If you're willing, strap in and ride shotgun. Be careful about how you interpret his actions, though. You're thinking through the filter of a mancrush and that can cloud all sensibility, especially when you're not sure where he's coming from. Go easy-breazy and let him get to know you his way. He'll pull over eventually, and when he does it'll be obvious where he's headed next.

Foremost, learn to look at the bigger picture. Good relationships are made from darn good friendships. And trust me, you do not want to have a bad love relationship with no friendships around. 

I came to this conclusion stating out the obvious: no matter where we were headed, I was in a win situation. This guy was willing to keep me company for so much time, and to be there for me when I was feeling bad. Romance or not, I enjoyed hanging out with him, and that turned into a really great friendship. Today we're the best friends you can imagine. 

So just do as I did. Kick back on thinking about how his every move affects you and just enjoy the experience.