I'm a Gay Teen Who Needs Flirting Tips

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Question: I'm a Gay Teen Who Needs Flirting Tips

A teen writes:

"Over the years, I've been a hot, intoxicated mess whenever I met a guy, mainly due my discomfort with my true identity. Now that things are different, I would really like to meet a guy in a more tasteful fashion. The only issue is, is that I don't know how to! I grew up learning how boy-meets-girl but never how boy-meets-boy. I'm clueless when it comes to flirting and really naive when it comes to being 'sexy.' So my question for you is; what can I do to successfully flirt with a guy?

I know how hold a conversation. I don't know how to let a guy know that I'm interested or how to be seductive."


Sometimes it can seem as if here is a world of difference between gay and straight dating. However, while one of the biggest differences is that if someone isn't out it can be tough to know if they are gay, the basics of flirting remain the same.

Really, there is no one way to flirt that is sure to work all the time. People have to develop their own way of showing they are interested in someone else. But keeping a few things in mind can help you show someone you are interested.

Here are some tips from teens:

Motobedis says:

You don't try to be sexy, sexy just happens. ;-) And smile. Not a huge, scary, toothy smile. Just a smile. With your eyes, too. Make eye contact, if someone is not interested it'll be easy to tell. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and stare.

Cheesy pick-up lines are cheesy, so if you use one, acknowledge it.

There's not really a formula for flirting. Just think that most of the people will be thinking similar thoughts to yours. Nobody took a class on flirting. Everyone's just running around like beheaded chickens.

Just hold a conversation. No hair-flipping is necessary, nor is obnoxious laughing. Just be friendly and approachable.

Trackstar says:

Pretty much just say and do things that compliment your crush from making eye contact and casual compliments to pull out their chair for them or just opening a door... making your intentions known is key!

Don't be a flirty tease. If you like someone and are interested in them go for it but don't flirt with everyone because your crush might see that as a turn off.

Just be aware of body language and the flow of conversation. You will know long gaps in conversations are a big sign that either a. they're not interested or b. you need to change the topic because its not something they're into.

Here are a few more things to keep in mind:

  • Compliments work wonders. As long as they are genuine, things like "I like your shirt," "You're really funny," and "Nice work getting into an Ivy," are all possible flirting lead in's.
  • Keep your compliments PG at first. Overly sexual remarks can freak people out.
  • Don't be overbearing and only talk about yourself. Remember to ask questions about the other person and let them get a word in edgewise.
  • Shyness can seem cute, but it can also make you seem insecure. Remember a lot more people find confidence attractive than do low self-esteem.

Of course, what might seem sexy, flirty or funny to one person, might seem silly or even sleazy to another.

So always make sure you are open to reading the other person's signs and if they don't seem interested, try hard not to feel rejected, and do your best to move on.