How to you tell someone you like her without losing her friendship?

Question: How to you tell someone you like her without losing her friendship?

You like her. You're good friends. You want to let her know your feelings are stronger than just friendship, but you're afraid you'll lose her friendship. What do you do?

Answer: First let's assume she knows you are a lesbian or bisexual. If she doesn't, now is a good time to come out to her. Here are some tips for bringing up the topic.

Vulnerable is hard

To tell someone you like them is hard. You don't know if she's going to reject you and you're afraid you could lose your friendship. The thing you have to remember is that even if she doesn't return your feelings, there is no good reason your friendship has to end.

What you need to do is to ask yourself how will you handle it if she is not interested in you. Will you act dejected, hurt or embarrassed? Will this make her uncomfortable? Be strong, be confident and let her know that you have feelings for her.


Once you spill your beans, try not to get nervous and say too much. Listen to what she has to say. "That's sweet, but I don't feel the same way," is actually a great response to get. She's not rejecting your friendship, just the possibility of a romantic relationship.

If you are confident in yourself, you won't be devastated if she doesn't feel the same way as you.

Chances are, you're going to fall for a lot of people who don't return the affection. Just as you're likely to make friends who have a romantic interest in you that you don't return.

Then again, there's always the possibility she feels the same way about you. That's what the risk is all about, isn't it?

Find the right time and place and tell her!